Smokescreen

20 comments March 9th, 2005at 06:41pm Posted by Eli

Okay, so I was in the elevator at lunch today, and I overheard someone actually explaining that being a smoker is healthier, because it gets you outside in the fresh air rather than being all cooped up inside with all the germs and recycled air. (I work in a smokefree building.) Umm, call me crazy, but wouldn’t the repeated inhaling of smoke and tar and nicotine tend to kind of, ah, diminish the salutory effects of the fresh air?

Look, I’m not advocating banning smoking or anything like that, but I really have to draw the line at claiming it’s in any way health-enhancing. Sheesh.

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20 Comments

  • 1. V  |  March 9th, 2005 at 6:50 pm

    It’s just another example of how people will say anything to justify their negative behaviors…

  • 2. Eli  |  March 9th, 2005 at 6:50 pm

    I wonder what they said *before* we were a smokefree workplace and they could smoke in the breakroom…

  • 3. V  |  March 9th, 2005 at 6:53 pm

    Probably that it made them more social, because they got to hang out in the breakroom and chat with each other.

  • 4. Eli  |  March 9th, 2005 at 6:59 pm

    Actually, when I was in high school, I had them send a smoking permission form to my mother so I could hang out in the “pit” with my smoker friends. She totally flipped out and thought I had caved in to peer pressure and started smoking.

    As I recall, the pit was a bit of a letdown. Lots of bridge-playing, for some reason…

    On the plus side, it let me hang out in the pits of the girls’ dorms, too.

  • 5. Eli  |  March 9th, 2005 at 6:59 pm

    (Mmm… girl pits…)

  • 6. V  |  March 9th, 2005 at 7:01 pm

    I really, genuinely cannot understand what kind of parent would give permission for their kids to smoke. What ever happened to teaching healthy values? But that’s my own possibly twisted ethical sense, and I don’t want to stir up controversy, so I’ll drop it.

  • 7. Eli  |  March 9th, 2005 at 7:02 pm

    What about giving permission to hang out with smokers?

  • 8. V  |  March 9th, 2005 at 8:46 pm

    See, that’s a bit tricky. I’m guessing you were a very upstanding and trustworthy young man, and that your parents were sure that you wouldn’t cave in to peer pressure.

    In general, though, I think maybe kids should be discouraged from hanging out with people who have bad habits. Growing up, I always adhered to the “you’re judged by the company you keep” rule of thumb.

  • 9. NYMary  |  March 9th, 2005 at 11:00 pm

    It’s interesting, though. When most places are smoke-free (here in New York, even bars!!!) the smokers bond. I guess it’s all the time together huddling in the cold, bumming lights off each other. But I definitely see the stratification.

    It’s only logical that, like freepers, they’d come up with a perverse alternate reality to make a virtue of their vice. “Smoking gets you into the fresh air!” = “George Bush is spreading democracy!”

  • 10. watertiger  |  March 9th, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    I know someone who smoked 2 packs a day and could run a 3:30 marathon.

    That’s just sick.

    And patently unfair.

  • 11. Eli  |  March 9th, 2005 at 11:20 pm

    It’s only logical that, like freepers, they’d come up with a perverse alternate reality to make a virtue of their vice.

    And like the freepers, they also see themselves as an oppressed minority, although the smokers have more of a point than the freepers do.

    I know someone who smoked 2 packs a day and could run a 3:30 marathon.

    Probably more likely in spite of than because of, but still scary impressive. There were smokers on my high school cross country team, and they all kicked my butt. I sucked really bad, though.

  • 12. ntodd  |  March 10th, 2005 at 12:01 am

    I find that smoking crack is way healthier because it gives me lots of energy, so I run around more and that helps me stay in good shape.

  • 13. Eli  |  March 10th, 2005 at 12:04 am

    Plus it lets you get more work done.
    So you can make more money.
    So you can buy more crack.
    So you can get more work done…

  • 14. watertiger  |  March 10th, 2005 at 12:14 am

    Crystal meth.

    Now THAT’s the way to go.

  • 15. Eli  |  March 10th, 2005 at 12:19 am

    I believe in crystal meth, BECAUSEIBELIEVEINMEGODDAMMIT!!!!

  • 16. Thersites  |  March 10th, 2005 at 1:19 am

    Wow, smoking DOES sound healthier!

    I’ll buy a carton for the kids tonight.

    Wheeeee.

  • 17. Phila  |  March 10th, 2005 at 1:31 am

    Nonsense. Look, if I’m standing around and smoking a cigarette outside my office, am I having unsafe sex with brawny stevedores? Or pounding tenpenny nails into my kneecaps? Or licking fresh dogshit off the pavement?

    In all likelihood, probably not.

  • 18. Eli  |  March 10th, 2005 at 1:51 am

    Nonsense. Look, if I’m standing around and smoking a cigarette outside my office, am I having unsafe sex with brawny stevedores? Or pounding tenpenny nails into my kneecaps? Or licking fresh dogshit off the pavement?

    In all likelihood, probably not.

    That may be so, but you would be unlikely to be doing any of that inside the office either, so you can only consider smoking health-neutral at best.

  • 19. ntodd  |  March 10th, 2005 at 2:41 pm

    if I’m standing around and smoking a cigarette outside my office, am I having unsafe sex with brawny stevedores? Or pounding tenpenny nails into my kneecaps? Or licking fresh dogshit off the pavement?

    What, you can’t multitask?

  • 20. oldwhitelady  |  March 12th, 2005 at 10:23 am

    It may not be healthy, but it sure helps when the manic crazed overstressed feelings start. Have a smokie and relax. It helps!! I know! We had our St Patty’s Day run today. 3 miles and after being sick, I could not run very fast. I did it in 44 minutes. Afterwards, did I light up? You better believe it. Then had to rush to work. Yeah, it helps…


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