I think I may have forgotten to mention, that while I was last visiting NYC, there was a shocking and horrific Alien Attack. Fortunately, I had my camera handy, and was able to document the apalling carnage and somehow escape with my life.
First photograph of the Alien Creature as it lands in front of Trinity Church and begins menacing the saints with its Evil Tentacles… OF DOOM!
The Alien lashes out with its Nefarious Grasping Claws!
The Alien’s true purpose becomes apparent, as it begins to suck nourishment from the very pavement itself, rendering it pale and brittle. 
February 19th, 2006 at 09:02pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
NJ/NYC,
Photoblogging
From The Smoking Gun, by way of NTodd and watertiger, a completely and utterly insane “Contract of Wifely Expectations,” which is alarmingly specific about how and when pubic hair is to be shaved, timing of nakedness (within 20 minutes after the kids are in bed), expected sexual practices, periods of utter subservience called “Me-Time,” and what actions can be used to earn “Good Behavior Days,” or “GBDs,” that would allow the wife to get out of some of her obligations for a day. Be sure to note the font used in the section headings, and the fact that the wife is required to be in her “sleepwear” (generally either skimpy lingerie or nothing at all) before she can attempt to renegotiate any terms of the “contract.”
The whole thing reads like some kind of twisted adolescent sexual fantasy of what the ideal marriage would be like, which is how I think it started out. It’s so elaborate and well-thought-out (in a psychotic, detached-from-reality kind of way) that I think he just kept refining it and embellishing it over the years, and never took a step back far enough to realize that it was pathological, and not what normal adults expect from their wives. On the other hand, he is clearly one of those guys who loves sex but hates women, so maybe he just didn’t care, and figured hey, it’s worth a shot.
I suppose the wife deserves some credit for not signing the thing, but why on Earth would she not head for the hills the second her husband put this mad document in front of her? Isn’t there some minimum level of self-esteem required to keep the heart pumping and the lungs breathing?
February 19th, 2006 at 01:59pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Wankers,
Weirdness
