Archive for June 28th, 2006

The Multi Medium Manifesto

As a timesaver, I have decided to try to consolidate all of my pet ideas into a single handy post. So unless you like photography or bizarre videos, there’s really not much reason to come back here ever again. I am a Marketing Genius!

1. Accountability is the hallmark of democracy; impunity is the hallmark of dictatorship. The two principal mechanisms of accountability are media and elections, and the Republicans have co-opted both.

1.1. The media’s primary objective is to advance and defend the Republican narrative up to the limit of credibility. Maximizing profits is a secondary goal, as the media’s parent companies stand to gain more from Republican government than they could through mere ratings. One need look no further than their lackluster coverage of a male prostitute (complete with website of lurid pictures and testimonials) for proof of this.

1.2. The Democrats should push loudly for election reform, stressing the democracy (“Everyone should have the right to vote”) and legitimacy aspects (“Americans need to know that their votes count, and that our leaders are fairly elected”). Force the Republicans to defend the indefensible.

2. The Democratic establishment’s pandering to an illusory center is a grave error.

2.1. When polling is broken down by party affiliation, Independents look a lot like Democrats on Bush approval rating, as well as most of the issues. Democrats are playing to the right, and they are actually alienating the “center.”

2.2. Democrats must consistently oppose Republican policies and nominees, even when they can’t win. When campaign season rolls around, they need to tie the Republicans’ votes around their necks, and this is considerably more difficult when half or more of the Democratic caucus voted with them.

2.3. Republicans understand the significance of turnout; Democrats do not. A motivated base’s passion and conviction drives them out to vote; the center is not as passionate, and will not turn out en masse. For every “swing” vote gained by tacking right, more than one “base” vote is lost. It is a self-defeating strategy.

2.4. Voters respect conviction, passion, and heart. Candidates like Hackett with firm convictions, who tell it like it is without pulling punches, who say things like “I said it, I meant it, I stand behind it” will gain the voters respect, even from voters who don’t agree with all their positions.

2.5. The Democrats must start calling the Republicans on their strategy of using smears, fear, and hate every single election. They must make voters realize just how stupid, cowardly, bigoted, and easily distracted the Republicans think they are. When the American people finally reject these tactics, the Republicans will have nothing left – it’s not like they can run on their record or their policy positions.

3. Progressives must reclaim the Democratic Party from within.

3.1. Politicians and their parties listen to and obey whoever can get them elected, or un-elected. Until the progressive netroots can demonstrate to the Democratic Party that they must have them on their side to win, they will have no leverage, and will remain marginalized.

3.1.1. A Ned Lamont primary victory, followed by a Ned Lamont general election victory, would mean far more than a truly Democratic seat in the Senate. It would announce to the Democratic Party that the progressive netroots are capable of toppling a corporate- and establishment-backed incumbent.

3.1.2. Ned Lamont notwithstanding, the House of Representatives affords the best opportunity for a progressive takeover. All the seats are in play every two years, the campaigns are smaller and therefore easier to impact, and the seats are safer thanks to the magic of gerrymandering.

3.2. Bill Clinton inadvertently ruined the Democratic party by using his immense charisma and political talent to legitimize the DLC’s corporate-friendly “triangulation” strategy. The Democratic Party never figured out that he won because he was Bill Clinton, not because he was a centrist.

4. The judicial confirmation process needs the opposite of the nuclear option. Instead of eliminating the filibuster, the Senate should make 60 votes the official standard for confirming judges, and retire the notion that selecting judges is solely the President’s prerogative. A judiciary that is confirmed by a simple majority becomes effectively another branch of the legislature, as decisions are determined by party affiliation rather than honest interpretation of law. A 60-vote requirement would force presidents of both parties to nominate highly-qualified moderates who would be acceptable to both parties, and who would make their decisions based on law.

10 comments June 28th, 2006 at 07:11am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Constitution,Democrats,Elections,Favorites,Media,Politics,Republicans,Rove

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

This is possibly the most reasonable-sounding Ed Anger column I’ve ever read, as he writes an open letter to then-newly-minted Pope Benedict XVI, offering suggestions on how to fix the Catholic Church:

Dear Pope Benedict XVI,
Right off the bat, let me congratulate you on getting yourself elected pope and tell you how glad I am you won. Mainly ’cause I had 50 bucks riding on you!


Your holiness, I’ve taken the liberty of sending you eight of my best ideas for fixing the Catholic church. Act on them pronto, sir. You look about 6 months younger than the pope who just kicked the bucket, so there’s no time to waste.

1. Bring back those oldfashioned “penguin suits” for nuns. Folks oughta be able to take one look at your holy ladies and know they’re not just Plain Janes whose mamas never taught ’em about makeup. And while you’re at it, give them the go-ahead to start whacking uppity brats with rulers again.

2. Start going medieval on those pedophile priests. Drag up all the old torture devices from the Spanish Inquisition, like the rack and the Iron Maiden, from the Vatican basement, dust ’em off — and wipe that scum off the face of the Earth.

3. Teach priests Irish accents. Anyone who’s seen old-time movies with stars like the late, great Barry Fitzgerald as padres knows that heartwarming “top of the morning to you” stuff is essential.

4. Replace all altar boys with altar girls — ages 18 and up. That’ll discourage boy-crazy fruitcakes from becoming priests. Shorten the altar girls robes to show a little thigh and I betcha that’ll double church attendance in no time flat.

5. Priests need better costumes — so replace robes with black leather jackets. Make the outfits cool enough and I guarantee you, plenty of Italian youths will dream of getting ordained instead of becoming “made men.”

6. Let parishioners vote on saints by a show of hands. Mind you, sometimes you’ll get goofy ones like “Saint Di” and maybe even “Saint Oprah” when Ol’ Tubby is pushing up daisies. But let ordinary folks get in on the excitement and Mass will soon be as popular as American Idol.

[The last two were kinda mediocre]

As long as I don’t think about all the people who read it without a trace of irony, The Weekly World News is a wonderful thing.

1 comment June 28th, 2006 at 07:04am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

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