Spam Trigger

June 14th, 2006at 05:32pm Posted by Eli

I know, I’m being frivolous and apolitical today, but hey, I was super-wonky yesterday, and it’s my blog, dammit. And right now I have to focus my loins and gird my brain for the intensity-packed pressure-cooker of intensity that is Wednesday Night Softball. In fact, it is such an epic contest of wills that we do not even keep score, lest such mundane detail distract us from the purity of the competition.

Umm, what was I talking about? Oh yes, spam. I have rather a lot of it. A towering backlog of blogworthy spam snippets, goofy fake names, and literature/poetry/haiku, which I’ve been sitting on, meaning to do something about for months now, but never quite got around to. I think I just needed a catalyst to jolt me into action, and today I finally got one.

I don’t want to get your hopes up, it’s not brilliant epic poetry, but it was just able to meet the minimum threshold of bizarre non-sequiturdom to trip my blogging circuits.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marshall Whitlock’s provocatively titled “Fwd: ?”:

“I suppose I do. Absorptive deed would like murderous, so OK murd.

I think the moral here is that Absorptive deed kills.

(I told you it wasn’t that great.)

Oookay, moving on.

Some poetic spam slices contributed by Virgil/hisstoryman:

*clears throat*

“Much libertarian in diploidy”

“But abscissae it’s passe”

“Fannie not mindanao”

They just kind of… hang in the air, fraught with unmeaning.

And finally, last and probably least, some spam literature, which I suspect is probably another excerpt from Misery:

“The pinned rat squeaked feebly, and snapped at the air. Buzzard disruption If she was dead he would die in here, a rat in a dry trap.
I’ve had no undertaker and I will have no undertaker to come in and rouge my darling and paint her like a doll!

I think perhaps maybe it got jumbled together with something else, like a Deadwood script or something…

Stay tuned, for I have many many nonsensical spammer names, of the Batshit R. Testicles variety.

I, ah, think I may be a bit loopy today.

Entry Filed under: Spamoptikon


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