Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

6 comments June 21st, 2006at 11:39am Posted by Eli

Looks like it might be time for another trip out West…

SAN FRANCISCO — The Golden Gate Bridge is one of the most recognizable and economically vital spans in the nation. So it was not surprising when the U.S. Office of Homeland Security (OHS) discovered the bridge listed on a terrorist memo of potential targets. However, working with the San Francisco Police Department, the OHS has devised a plan to keep the bridge safe. “We’ve hired 25 young, beautiful women willing to remove all their clothing and station themselves at strategic points on and approaching the bridge,” explained San Francisco Police Public Information Officer Bruce Onder.

“Hopefully, that will keep religious radicals from coming near the structure.”


Operation Bust Attacks, as the project has been named, is scheduled to begin within the next two weeks. Are any problems anticipated?

“Oh, we imagine we’ll get some complaints from the Religious Right and from parents of small children,” responded Onder. “But it’s the ‘new normal’ so they’ll just have to cover some eyes and deal with it.”

If Operation Bust Attacks is a success, arrangements will immediately be made to have naked women stationed at the Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, the Alamo and Independence Hall.

The Weekly World News may very well be the most subversive publication in America.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


  • 1. karmic_jay  |  June 21st, 2006 at 11:52 am

    LOL.. I need to make a trip too, purely to capture the beauty of the curves (ahem) of the bridge.

  • 2. karmic_jay  |  June 21st, 2006 at 11:55 am

    Is outsourcing R&D a common practice?
    Not as common as IT, but apparently it is happening slowly.
    We are purely a nation of consumers who are debtors ruled by the decider scared of evil gay terrorists and brown folsk porung across our Southern borders. ;-)

  • 3. karmic_jay  |  June 21st, 2006 at 11:55 am

    I might steal your post for my blog if it is ok?

  • 4. Eli  |  June 21st, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    Hey, be my guest. The Weekly World News should be shared with everyone.

  • 5. spocko  |  June 21st, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    The WWN is the new Onion.

    Last week’s issue? Some people who type too much get Carpal TUNA Syndrome.

    Fingers turn into little fishes.
    Could be an occupational hazard for bloggers.

  • 6. Eli  |  June 21st, 2006 at 4:41 pm

    WWN rules. It’s hard to be consistently crazy enough to stay out in
    front of reality.

    It’s hard work!

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