Weekend Not-Quite-Reviews

4 comments July 3rd, 2006at 06:14pm Posted by Eli

Well, the shadowy and mysterious Codename V. and I had a lovely weekend here in Pittsburgh, and as we always do, we went out and saw a bunch of stuff. I don’t have the mental wherewithal to pull together coherent reviews of anything just yet, but I should be able to rattle off some impressions.

Nacho Libre
Not a whole lot to say, other than that it had some seriously funny bits, and I particularly liked his sidekick, who really likes his corn-on-the-cob-on-a-stick (and is quite handy with it as well). If you can even tolerate Jack Black, you should probably see it.

Cirque De Soleil: Delirium
This was the first arena Cirque De Soleil show I had ever seen, and the translation was not entirely successful. First off, they made it more like a concert, complete with an opening act (Nitza, who did very well in that thankless job – great pipes, excellent energy). There was a lot more singing and dancing, and a bunch of scrim/projection-screen/light-show multimedia stuff, and less of the usual clowns and jugglers and acrobats. Sometimes all of those elements were in play at the same time, and it was busy and distracting. Other observations:

o Overall vibe was Cirque-De-Soleil-Meets-Neil-Gaiman. With maybe a little bit of U2 concert thrown in.

o My favorite part was when the guy who spent most of the show hanging from a balloon said, “I’m glad this is all just a dream. It’s way too… weird,” and then a shirtless man appeared out of nowhere and ran screaming down the length of the stage with his arms out in front of him.

o I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stiltwalker run before, much less dance.

o I know I’ve never seen same-sex dance partners at a Cirque De Soleil show before. Good on them.

o Cirque De Soleil sure does like their dangling-from-the-ceiling-on-a-ribbon dancers. I think every Cirque De Soleil show I’ve ever been to has had them, and this show had at least three or four. Unfortunately, they’re not really all that interesting…

o The acrobats were impressive. One of them did a series of solo balancing routines on a small disc on the end of a long, thin pole, and later on a quartet of them performed some very elaborate mult-person balancing routines, including one of them balancing one-handed on the top of another one’s head.

o The hoop girl was even more impressive. She had up to 8 hoops going at once, although it was more impressive when she had five hoops going around (IIRC) her waist, shoulders, arms, and leg-straight-up-in-the-air. Seriously, whatever she was doing had to be physically impossible.

Superman Returns
I liked it! It was strangely pleasing to hear the old Superman theme once more, and there was a bit more whimsy than I expected (like, say, the unexpected sight of Lex Luthor brushing his teeth, and some amusing bits with Pomeranians), which is always welcome. However, I did have some objections/observations (I don’t think there are any spoilers – this is all either non-pivotal, or revealed in trailers or reviews)…

o Sometime after the first series of Superman movies, Superman supposedly goes away for five years to see what’s left of Krypton. First off: Kryptonite is made up of radioactive fragments of his exploded homeworld. So… wouldn’t he be encountering rather a lot of kryptonite in that general vicinity? Second off: How is it that no-one notices that Superman and Clark Kent both come back on the exact same day? Third off: How is it that both he and Lois Lane look at least five years younger than they did the first time around?

o Lois Lane is quite possibly the Worst Mother Of All Time. I can’t elaborate on that without giving anything away, but you’ll know it when you see it.

o Superman is not gay. Something about his build seemed a little peculiar to me, though. Maybe I was expecting him to be a little more classically superhero-muscular.

o Apparently cab-whistling is a superpower. Who knew?

o How did Jimmy Olsen sneak up on Superman?

o Maybe an engineer can correct me on this, but I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for Superman to save a large airplane from crashing, no matter how strong he is. I just don’t think there’s any single part of the plane that could bear all of its weight without it breaking into pieces.

o When you shoot someone point-blank right in the eye and they don’t even flinch, you know you’re screwed.

o What a waste of Kal Penn (Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle).

Entry Filed under: Movies

4 Comments

  • 1. karmic_jay  |  July 3rd, 2006 at 9:54 pm

    I would so love to Superman, *A* won’t go cos she isn’t in to these sort of movies. Maybe I will go alone.

  • 2. Eli  |  July 4th, 2006 at 1:17 am

    It really is worth seeing. You don’t have any friends you can go with? That’s what I usually end up doing.

  • 3. karmic_jay  |  July 4th, 2006 at 8:15 am

    New to Wilmington so not yet..

  • 4. spocko  |  July 9th, 2006 at 1:53 am

    I just got back from the movie and I really really liked it. Maybe even loved it.

    I will now answer all your questions based on my vast alien knowledge;

    o Sometime after the first series of Superman movies, Superman supposedly goes away for five years to see what’s left of Krypton. First off: Kryptonite is made up of radioactive fragments of his exploded homeworld. So… wouldn’t he be encountering rather a lot of kryptonite in that general vicinity?
    That was explained the opening sequence, some of the kryptonite was transformed in space during the trip to the planet earth. (If you recall, there are several kinds of Kryptonite, most notably red which has strange effects on him)

    Second off: How is it that no-one notices that Superman and Clark Kent both come back on the exact same day?
    People are stupid in the movies.

    Third off: How is it that both he and Lois Lane look at least five years younger than they did the first time around?
    Oil of Olei for Lois. Superman had some time dilation due to his long trip at near light speeds.

    o Lois Lane is quite possibly the Worst Mother Of All Time. I can’t elaborate on that without giving anything away, but you’ll know it when you see it.
    It’s the smoking right? That and never ensuring your kid has enough inhalers at all times.

    o Superman is not gay. Something about his build seemed a little peculiar to me, though. Maybe I was expecting him to be a little more classically superhero-muscular.
    It was the tights. Had to be the tights.

    o Apparently cab-whistling is a superpower. Who knew? The NSA.

    o How did Jimmy Olsen sneak up on Superman? Super sneakers.

    oMaybe an engineer can correct me on this, but I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for Superman to save a large airplane from crashing, no matter how strong he is. I just don’t think there’s any single part of the plane that could bear all of its weight without it breaking into pieces.
    Okay this one is an easy one. I had the same problem but a friend pointed out that the wing were he was first supporting it did get ripped off. You are right, structurally the nose is not the strongest point, but by that time he was using his anti-gravity flying powers to counteract the mass of the plane. The way it works is that as he pushes harder he either flies faster or can repel things more. He is creating a low gravity field around him to fly and in this case using it to slow the mass of the plane.

    o When you shoot someone point-blank right in the eye and they don’t even flinch, you know you’re screwed. Yep. But boy did *I* flinch!

    o What a waste of Kal Penn (Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle).
    Who? Which one was he? Henchman number 2 or 3.

    Okay here are a few questions from me.
    Lois’ underwear. Why don’t WE get to see it?

    Superman having sex with Lois. Why no injuries? Was it because he was human during that time? Other wise I’m thinking the Super orgasm would have hurt her (don’t do the visuals in your head, it’s SCARY!).

    I’m waiting for someone to do a “the physics of Superman” book.
    5 will get you 10 that they are working on it RIGHT NOW! And I’ll buy it at the bargain bin because it will go with my physics of Star Trek book.

    Things I loved about it. The optimism. The news room at the Daily Planet. You think that they could have done a better on job on the Iraq war than our news media? Answer? Yes.
    The homages to the TV series(the Rich Widow was the Lois Lane from the TV series!) and the first movies. Hell the new guy even SOUNDED like Reeve sometimes.

    The myth of Superman the Father/Son/Sun bit. the Savior part (with the classic poses)

    I loved,loved, LOVED the part of him as a kid running through the corn fields and jumping in the air and then discovering his flying.
    Just the JOY of flying/jumping that he had.

    The mother scene about “You are not alone”.
    His speech at the end to the boy.
    All wonderful stuff.


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