Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

3 comments August 23rd, 2006at 12:02am Posted by Eli

You might say, “This story is the cat’s meow.” But I won’t.

HOUSTON, Tex. — NASA officials were embarrassed this week to announce the Space Station is infested with mice.

Project Manager Terry Duckworth told Weekly World News, “The female mice escaped from one of our onboard experiments and the male mice came up on a Russian supply ship, hidden in the cargo hold. Now we have a big predicament — what we call UMP, or Unauthorized Mice Pairing. You might say, ‘Houston we have a pest problem.’ But I won’t.”

The mice have chewed through wires and insulation, and the patter of their feet has disturbed astronauts as they’ve slept.

For NASA, the solution was refreshingly lowcost. He may look like an ordinary housecat, but Charlie carries the fate of the multibillion dollar project on his tiny shoulders. “Charlie is my Aunt Ethel’s cat and he’s a great mouser,” said Duckworth.

NASA has developed and manufactured a specially designed space cat suit for Charlie’s imminent launch. He will be hoisted spaceward as soon as the shuttle returns to service.

“You might say we’re hoping this will ‘Kill the UMP,'” Duckworth said. “But I won’t.”

Have I mentioned lately that these people are my heroes?

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

3 Comments

  • 1. spocko  |  August 23rd, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    The Weekly World News was the Onion before the Onion.

    BAT BOY LIVES!

  • 2. Eli  |  August 23rd, 2006 at 5:43 pm

    Well, it’s *kinda* like the Onion, but it approaches it from a different direction. The Onion approaches it from a newspaper direction, while the WWN approaches the same thing from a Lurid Tabloid direction.

  • 3. four legs good  |  August 24th, 2006 at 12:37 am

    That’s hilarious.

    I always love their covers.


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