Archive for September 22nd, 2006

Don’t Fuck With The Clenis

Ouch. You do not want to try to blindside Bill Clinton – he will HURT you:

WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on Fox News Sunday, I got a lot of email from viewers, and I got to say I was surprised most of them wanted me to ask you this question. Why didn’t you do more to put Bin Laden and al Qaeda out of business when you were President?

(…)

[T]he question is why didn’t you do more, connect the dots and put them out of business?

CLINTON: OK, let’s talk about it. Now, I will answer all those things on the merits, but first I want to talk about the context in which this arises.

I’m being asked this on the Fox network. ABC just had a right-wing conservative run in their little Pathway to 9/11, falsely claiming it was based on the 9/11 Commission report, with three things asserted against me directly contradicted by the 9/11 Commission report.

And I think it’s very interesting that all the conservative Republicans, who now say I didn’t do enough, claimed that I was too obsessed with bin Laden. All of President Bush’s neo-cons thought I was too obsessed with bin Laden. They had no meetings on bin Laden for nine months after I left office. All the right-wingers who now say I didn’t do enough said I did too much — same people.

WALLACE: Do you think you did enough, sir?

CLINTON: No, because I didn’t get him.

WALLACE: Right.

CLINTON: But at least I tried. That’s the difference in me and some, including all the right-wingers who are attacking me now. They ridiculed me for trying. They had eight months to try. They did not try. I tried.

So I tried and failed. When I failed, I left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy and the best guy in the country, Dick Clarke, who got demoted.

So you did Fox’s bidding on this show. You did your nice little conservative hit job on me. What I want to know is…

WALLACE: Well, wait a minute, sir.

CLINTON: No, wait. No, no…

WALLACE: I want to ask a question. You don’t think that’s a legitimate question?

CLINTON: It was a perfectly legitimate question, but I want to know how many people in the Bush administration you asked this question of.

I want to know how many people in the Bush administration you asked, Why didn’t you do anything about the Cole?

I want to know how many you asked, Why did you fire Dick Clarke?

I want to know how many people you asked…

WALLACE: Do you ever watch Fox News Sunday, sir?

CLINTON: I don’t believe you asked them that.

WALLACE: We ask plenty of questions of…

CLINTON: You didn’t ask that, did you? Tell the truth, Chris.

WALLACE: About the USS Cole?

CLINTON: Tell the truth, Chris.

WALLACE: With Iraq and Afghanistan, there’s plenty of stuff to ask.

CLINTON: Did you ever ask that?

You set this meeting up because you were going to get a lot of criticism from your viewers because Rupert Murdoch’s supporting my work on climate change.

And you came here under false pretenses and said that you’d spend half the time talking about — you said you’d spend half the time talking about what we did out there to raise $7-billion-plus in three days from 215 different commitments. And you don’t care.

CLINTON: What did I do? What did I do? I worked hard to try to kill him. I authorized a finding for the CIA to kill him. We contracted with people to kill him. I got closer to killing him than anybody has gotten since. And if I were still president, we’d have more than 20,000 troops there trying to kill him.

Now, I’ve never criticized President Bush, and I don’t think this is useful. But you know we do have a government that thinks Afghanistan is only one-seventh as important as Iraq.

And you ask me about terror and Al Qaida with that sort of dismissive thing? When all you have to do is read Richard Clarke’s book to look at what we did in a comprehensive, systematic way to try to protect the country against terror.

And you’ve got that little smirk on your face and you think you’re so clever. But I had responsibility for trying to protect this country. I tried and I failed to get bin Laden. I regret it. But I did try. And I did everything I thought I responsibly could.

The entire military was against sending Special Forces in to Afghanistan and refueling by helicopter. And no one thought we could do it otherwise, because we could not get the CIA and the FBI to certify that Al Qaida was responsible while I was president.

And so, I left office. And yet, I get asked about this all the time. They had three times as much time to deal with it, and nobody ever asks them about it. I think that’s strange.

Don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. He might even demolish your bogus Bush-tough-on-terror narrative. And that would be bad.

My prediction is that they air the question in full, and cut Clinton’s response to shreds to make him sound petulant and ineffectual (i.e., maybe just leaving in the parts where he talks about Wallace’s smirk, and about how he “tried” to get bin Laden and failed). Hopefully the fact that Think Progress obtained a leaked transcript will make them think twice about it, but I don’t think they’ll care – they wear their journalistic dishonesty like a badge of honor.

(hat tip to RevDeb in FDL comments)

4 comments September 22nd, 2006 at 09:18pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Wankers

Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

This week’s quote is from a bizarre Japanese sci-fi movie called Wicked City. I’m pretty sure it’s the live-action one and not the anime one, but I couldn’t swear to it.

Hello! How are you? You’re inside of me and welcome.

And, of course, there’ll be other people’s cats…


Most of my pictures of Gollum involve one of us rolling around on the ground. And no, I haven’t seen him since our initial encounter.

2 comments September 22nd, 2006 at 07:52pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

Oh Dear.

Via Kyklops, some extreme weirdness from Japan:

Japan has recently claimed the world air guitar championship, but Weekly Playboy (10/2) notes that less well known is that Japan already had a world champ in another virtual sport — air sex!

Just like air guitar pits competitors prancing around on stage empty handed but acting as though they were playing a hot riff, air sex requires players to simulate sauciness as though with a partner, but actually while alone.

(…)

“You must be warned, though… air sex can be very dangerous,” Sugisaku says. “Normally what happens with a display is that you perform the same way you normally would when having sex. I’ve seen guys who put on air sex shows that clearly display they’re still virgins. I’ve also seen other guys perform such incredibly authentic fake fellatio that nobody has been left in any doubt that they could only be bisexual. Let me reiterate: Air sex can be dangerous.”

Japan’s reigning air sex world champion is a fella who goes by the name of Cobra. His theory for successful air sex is that it involves more than just blowing.

“On the day that I reached the top, the day I became world champion, I was thinking of my girlfriend. No, my ex-girlfriend. She’d just dumped me two days before the contest,” Cobra tells Weekly Playboy. “The air sex display I put on that day was, in my mind at least, supposed to be the farewell fling I really wanted to have with my girlfriend. It was the best possible condition I could have been in going into the competition.”

Cobra then proceeds to put on an 8 1/2-minute display of air sex for the weekly, with moves including ear nibbling, sphincter licking, attaching a condom while kissing, ejaculation and afterglow. Cobra says that the knack of bogus bonking lies in openness.

“You can’t care about what women watching your performance are thinking about you. When you get down to air sex, you’ve got to immerse yourself in the air sex world,” Cobra says. “Air sex can’t be performed in half-measures. If it is, you’re only asking for trouble.”

So, I have to ask… do they achieve airgasm?

4 comments September 22nd, 2006 at 12:08am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Puns,Weirdness


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