Archive for November 15th, 2006

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

It seemed like a good idea at the time…

CHICAGO, Ill.–Clothing designers have always taken pains to keep their seams from showing. But a new line of four-dimensional clothes from Abbott’s Department Stores has trumped its predecessors.

“Pull the collar through the waistband as often as you like, but you’ll never be able to turn our garments inside out,” said Abbott’s spokeswoman Patricia Rucker, demonstrating one of the new shirts.

“Kids will learn to dress themselves more easily,” Rucker added. “And since time runs more slowly through 4D-wear, you can stay fresh all day and extend the life of the garment.”

Despite the benefits, initial sales have not met the expectations of Abbott’s executives.

“The 4D clothes can be very difficult to fold–some customers find themselves suddenly miles from their laundry rooms,” said Tess Eract, a consumer advocate.

“And the pockets exert a strong gravitational pull,” Ms. Eract added. “It’s a struggle to retrieve your wallet from a pair of 4D pants.”

Abbott’s belated spin of the gravitational field as ‘a security feature’ against pickpockets hasn’t helped sales.

It’s not the first time the company’s unusual clothing has proven unpopular.

“Their two-dimensional blouses were very easy to iron, but tended to flatten the figure,” the source went on.

Tess Eract. Heh.

3 comments November 15th, 2006 at 07:46am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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