Iron Jonah

6 comments November 9th, 2006at 10:49pm Posted by Eli

It’s time to take Jonah Goldberg’s peyote away:

How Bush Should Handle Loss [Jonah Goldberg]

I think James Baker and Dick Cheney should take Bush out to the woods around Camp David. After 24 hours in a sweat lodge, he should be given only a loin cloth, a hunting knife and a canteen of water. Bush should then set out to track and kill a black bear, after which he should eat its still beating heart so he can absorb its spirit. He should then fly back to Washington in Marine 1. His torso still scratched from the bear’s claws, his face bloodied and steaming in the November chill, he should immediately give a press conference at which he throws the bearskin on the front row of the press corps, completely enveloping Helen Thomas, declaring, “I’m not going anywhere.”

This will send important messages to Democrats and well as to our enemies overseas, who are no doubt high-fiving as we speak.

I don’t know what this even means, but I sure would like to see Dubya attempt it. If the bear didn’t gut him, Helen Thomas surely would.

(Hat-tip Exit Stage Left)

Entry Filed under: Bush,Politics,Wankers,Weirdness


  • 1. Interrobang  |  November 9th, 2006 at 11:37 pm

    Oh. My. Frickin. God.

    Back away from the testosterone patches, Jonah.

    Do you know a good treatment for machismo poisoning?

  • 2. Eli  |  November 9th, 2006 at 11:43 pm

    I imagine a single night of unbridled passion with K-Lo would be enough to burn it out of his system.

  • 3. Eli  |  November 9th, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    Did I really just say “I imagine a single night of unbridled passion with K-Lo”?

    I’m going to die.

  • 4. Elmo  |  November 10th, 2006 at 11:12 am

    How funny! I love it when Jonah tries to act tough, what a douche.

  • 5. Interrobang  |  November 10th, 2006 at 5:13 pm

    Eli, please tell me you didn’t really imagine such a thing, did you?!

  • 6. Eli  |  November 10th, 2006 at 6:55 pm

    Nah, I was just disturbed that I had typed that particular sequence of words. Thankfully my imagination has a circuitbreaker which protects me from such things.

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