Archive for December 20th, 2006


(WARNING: Potentially insensitive analogy ahead)

While here in South Carolina, I saw both a dead cat and a dead dog on the side of the road (not at the same time). It’s a sad sight to begin with, and then I think about how that that cat and that dog were probably someone’s pets, and some unfortunate family is just devastated because their four-legged family member got hit by a car, and that makes it even sadder.

Now imagine that it’s someone’s mom or dad or grandma or brother or son, and they got shot or blown up for no good reason other than that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now imagine that there’s hundreds of thousands of them.

20 comments December 20th, 2006 at 03:54pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Iraq,Katrina,War

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

These things happen, I suppose…

ALSTAHAUG, Norway–A squid infestation has forced the closure of Hollerheim Suites’ flagship hotel.

“The creature is viscid enough to dart through the hotel’s narrow plumbing,” said squid abatement expert Erik Pontoppidan. “It surfaces in guests’ bubble baths, coils hapless bathers in its tentacles, and vanishes again in a deadly but invigorating whirlpool.”

So far, no guests have been seriously hurt, though one bather did emerge, wet and dazed, from a bidet three rooms down the hall from his suite.

“In all of these cases the kraken was successfully repelled with a loofah,” Pontoppidan explained.

“But it’s just a matter of time before the aromatics and concentrated nutrients of bath syrups and body butters induce a fatal attack.”


The expert plans to release the squid’s natural enemies, sperm-whale calves, into the water pipes.

Some guests, however, think Pontoppidan is overreacting.

“I don’t think there’s a real threat here,” said businessman James Hennteye, who mistook the squid’s suction cups for a non-skid applique. “In my case, I think the squid may have saved a life.”

Once again, the Weekly World News is kraken me up.

2 comments December 20th, 2006 at 10:07am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Weekly World News

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