A Very Scientological Christmas

3 comments December 5th, 2006at 07:32am Posted by Eli

Oh my:

Cardboard scenery, paper snowflakes and angel wings from the Halloween store are the stuff that kids’ Christmas pageants are made of.

“A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant” – based on the teachings of the church founded by L. Ron Hubbard – includes many of the same ingredients.

But there are a few props that you don’t find in a typical pageant.

Like a dancing brain.

A child “robot” narrator.

And a Suri Cruise sock puppet.

(…)

Suri “is a pink puppet with a pacifier and feathery hair,” says Alex Timbers, who conceived the show and directs. “She’s really cute.”

Kyle Jarrow wrote the book, music and lyrics for the 55-minute show that celebrates the life and teachings of Hubbard, using the idiom of a children’s Christmas pageant.

(…)

The cast is comprised of kids ages 8 to 12 costumed in jazzy choir robes. The grade-school performers reenact Hubbard’s birth (in a manger, of course) and explain the creation myth according to Scientology.

As for little Suri, don’t worry, she’s not unchaperoned. Mom Katie is also a sock puppet.

Says Timbers, “She’s beige-y gray with brown pipe-cleaner hair. She’s got big eyes. They bobble.”

Wow. Evil Dead: The Musical has some competition.

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Weirdness

3 Comments

  • 1. Sanjay  |  December 5th, 2006 at 8:12 am

    I am speechless! And ease off the espresso flavored beans now will ya?

  • 2. op99  |  December 5th, 2006 at 8:32 am

    And people think I’m deluded for being an atheist.

  • 3. Eli  |  December 5th, 2006 at 9:34 am

    There is a brilliant episode of Andy Richter Controls The Universe where one of Andy’s coworkers reveals that he belongs to a religion that worships a giant sheep in the sky. Their holy book appears to involve a lot of monster-on-monster sex, too.


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