It’s Turtles All The Way Down.
7 comments December 12th, 2006at 12:04pm Posted by Eli
Today’s NYT Science Times section has a great article on turtles. It’s too long and too juicy to excerpt, so I will just summarize some highlights, in no particular order:
o Everyone loves turtles, because they’re clumsy and harmless and slow. I would also add non-allergenic and often rather cute.
o For all intents and purposes, turtles do not age. Their organs do not deteriorate at all as they get older. (On the other hand, it takes some sea turtles 40-50 years to finish puberty, which might explain why they abandon their eggs.)
o Turtles can stop their hearts at will.
o Turtles are incredibly strong, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to move at all, due to the awkward angle their shells force their legs into.
o Forest turtles can spot bodies of water from a mile away, and some turtles may communicate through ground-transmitted subsonics.
o The turtle shell is part of their skeleton, comprised mostly of modified ribs and vertebrae.
o There are turtles on every continent, and in most habitats, except Antarctica.
o There are turtles that eat jellyfish, ice cream, and human corpses (not the same turtle).
o Other than disease, Man is pretty much the only threat to an adult turtle, primarily through habitat destruction and running over with cars.
o The male Gibba turtle apparently has “the sex appeal of a floating toupee.”
Curiously, there is no mention of Senator John Cornyn anywhere in the story.
7 Comments
1. V | December 12th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
I want one of those turtles that eats human corpses. He will be my best friend, and together we will rule the earth.
2. SwimDeep AKA HopeSpringsATurtle | December 12th, 2006 at 2:36 pm
Gee whiz Eli, thanks for the turtle story, I always thought you might have a little crush on me..lol. Good stuff thanks.
3. lotus | December 12th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
I want to cut that main pinup — the hooked-snouty guy — loose on the Oval and the OVP. Right after he’s fasted for three months. In fact, make that a herd of ’em.
4. Eli | December 12th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
I’m a sucker for an ageless woman with powerful snapping jaws – but even more so for one who wants to rule the world with a corpse-eating turtle at her side.
I like the idea of Turtle Mayhem in the Oval Office – I’m not sure if the buggers would be fast enough, but I guess if there were *enough* of them it wouldn’t matter.
Which reminds me – the story didn’t say anything about “post turtles” either…
5. lotus | December 12th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Yer right, Eli, it didn’t. And I’m glad, too, cause post turkles allus make me sad.
6. lotus | December 12th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Meant to say: my fave was certainly the little guy who stands on his hind legs for his ice cream. Now THERE’s a turtle.
7. Eli | December 12th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
I thought that was charming as well, and I almost included it. But ultimately decided that it was perhaps not a sufficiently… universal Fascinating True Turtle Fact.