Archive for January 30th, 2007


I am so totally the coolest guy on the planet right now.

Weep with envy:

Free Image Hosting at

Oh, but that’s not all…

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15 comments January 30th, 2007 at 09:53pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Technology,Weirdness

This Is Why We Watch.

To the casual observer, CSI: Miami appears to be utter and total crap. But to Seasoned Television Observers like myself and the shadowy and mysterious Codename V, it is plain to see that it is a Very Subtle And Clever Parody of the CSI franchise, crime shows in general, and, well, David Caruso.

Don’t believe me? Watch this video of Horatio Caine’s pithy pearls of wisdom, oftimes accompanied by the Dramatic Sunglasses Removal:

Be sure to watch all the way through; it finishes with the opening credits sequence from the episode where they go to Rio, and it is just… grandiosely awful. Sadly, the greatest Horatio Caine line of them all is inexplicably missing: “I’m the fiber king, Dave. The fiber king.”

Some additional proof, if you are not yet convinced that CSI: Miami is a comedy (Behold! Horatio is such a badass that not even his car blowing up fazes him!):

I came across these delightful tidbits while looking for a CSI Miami version of this bit of not-safe-for-work genius (I was sure there would be one, but no dice):

(chain of hat tips: ::matthew > d r i f t g l a s s > Susie Bright > Boing Boing)

The shadowy and mysterious Codename V. got first crack at it, on account of I knew she would do a lot more with it than I could.

I’m still looking for YouTube video of The Greatest CSI Miami Moment Of All Time (the Rio opening credits are a close second), but no dice – I think I’m just going to have to take care of it myself.

2 comments January 30th, 2007 at 06:55pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Monday Media Blogging

The March Of Progress

Moore’s Law: Processor speed doubles every two years.

Ford’s Law: Fuel efficiency doubles once in nine years and then stops.

In 1975, after the oil embargo, Congress approved the most successful energy-saving measure this country has ever seen: the Corporate Average Fuel Economy system, known as CAFE, which set minimum mileage standards for cars. Within 10 years, automobile efficiency had virtually doubled, to 27.5 miles per gallon in 1985 from just over 14 miles per gallon in 1976.

The mileage standards are still 27.5 m.p.g. Except for minor tweaks, Congress has refused to raise fuel efficiency requirements or close a gaping loophole that lets S.U.V.s and pickups be measured by a more lenient standard.

Let’s see… Since 1986, we have had a Democratic president and a Democratic Congress for a grand total of… two years. I’m thinking this is probably not a coincidence.

January 30th, 2007 at 11:53am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Technology,Wankers

Fool Me Once…

Spineless Senator Specter speaks strongly:

A Senate Republican on Tuesday directly challenged President Bush’s declaration that ”I am the decision-maker” on issues of war.

”I would suggest respectfully to the president that he is not the sole decider,” Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., said during a hearing on Congress’ war powers amid an increasingly harsh debate over Iraq war policy. ”The decider is a shared and joint responsibility,” Specter said.

Yes, we’ve all seen what a firm believer in limiting presidential power Arlen Specter is. Check that: We’ve all seen what a firm believer in talking like a firm believer in limiting presidential power Arlen Specter is.

We’ve seen this same pattern repeat itself over and over again: Administration does something outrageous and/or criminal; Specter angrily denounces it in full-blown Guardian Of The Constitution mode; Specter quietly backtracks and gives Administration everything it wants. It’s only a matter of time.

Arlen Specter’s continuing employment, like Joe Lieberman’s, is proof positive that most voters just aren’t paying attention.

2 comments January 30th, 2007 at 11:40am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Politics,Republicans,Specter,Wankers,War

Well, Crap.

The Hubble bubble has burst:

The Hubble Space Telescope is flying partly blind across the heavens, a result of a short circuit on Saturday morning in its most popular instrument, the Advanced Camera for Surveys.

NASA engineers reported yesterday that most of the camera’s capabilities, including the ability to take the sort of deep cosmic postcards that have inspired the public and to track the mysterious dark energy splitting the universe to the ends of time, had probably been lost for good.

In a telephone news conference, Hubble engineers and scientists said the telescope itself was in fine shape and would continue operating with its remaining instruments, which include another camera, the wide-field planetary camera 2, or wfpc2, and an infrared camera and spectrograph named Nicmos.


Mr. Burch and his colleagues said it was unlikely that they would be able to repair the camera during the next Hubble servicing mission, which is scheduled for September 2008. On that mission, astronauts will replace the wide-field camera with a powerful new version, wfpc3, which will extend the telescope’s vision to ultraviolet and infrared wavelengths and restore the lost capabilities. They will also install a new ultraviolet spectrograph and make many other pressing repairs.

Noting that the five days of spacewalks for that mission were already full, and that changing things to fix the camera would cost time and money, Dr. Burch said, “At first blush, this doesn’t look attractive.”

The Advanced Camera for Surveys was installed on the telescope in March 2002, and it has been the space telescope’s workhorse. Among its feats, in 2003 the camera took the deepest photograph of the cosmos ever taken, the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, showing young galaxy fragments only one billion to two billion years after the Big Bang. In the most recent round of proposals from astronomers to use the telescope, about two-thirds required the advanced camera.


Adam Riess of the space telescope institute, who has used the Hubble telescope to search for supernova explosions in the distant universe to gauge the effects of dark energy on cosmic history, said these explosions would now be out of reach until the new camera was installed.

This really sucks.

3 comments January 30th, 2007 at 07:34am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Science


A two-fer today, since the first one is really short.

From Enid Leary:

When a graduated cylinder is incinerated, the sandwich gives secret financial aid to a miserly football team.

A cashier living with a skyscraper avoids contact with a class action suit.

And from FROST Merlin, entitled “Tell me this wasn’t worth it”:

frequent see stamp and left , knee but low some doubt a coal but crime a coat on stem may whip not writing it fowl on system it’s kind a nerve may agreement see addition some oven try trick on drop but agreement it first be stage it’s condition some school in slope in wise not example but humour but steam and money not sweet be flag see stop it’s knowledge it brain it new but opposite and mother and cotton in simple see help and year , picture a chemical , river some pleasure , transport ! change see use see effect in camera it’s end some top , wave be move and drain may electric , old the green ! example in early or sand see quiet on line but rice it acid some tall see colour but baby not chemical and adjustment or land it’s bird may bee a shock on reward but

Oh, it was worth it all right.

January 30th, 2007 at 07:21am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Spamoptikon

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