The Bulldozerer

7 comments January 31st, 2007at 03:06pm Posted by Eli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACkg8IFoEvw
Dubya probably should have watched this first. (Knowledge of German not required, but not work-safe or suitable for the squeamish)

By now, a lot of you have probably heard about the preznit’s exciting day at the Very Hungry Caterpillar factory, wherein he got to drive the Great Big Bulldozer:

White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves. Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor.

Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor’s window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned. The episode lasted about a minute, and Bush was still laughing when he pulled to a stop.

Okay, so, the preznit is at the controls of a powerful and destructive machine he barely knows how to operate, recklessly sends it full speed ahead into a crowd of innocent people, and cackles at the sight of everyone in front of him running for their lives, and his staff trying to minimize the damage. Yeah, that sounds pretty much par for the course.

So here’s my question: What if everyone hadn’t been able to get out of the way in time? What if Dubya actually ran someone over while he was playing Killdozer-In-Chief? (Warning: Impending Tense Shift) Would there be any consequences (Out-Of-Control President Crushes Secret Service Agent To Death!), or would it just be a great big joke like Cheney shooting someone in the face? Or would the media just gloss over it as an honest mistake, like they did the last time he decided to mow down a whole bunch of people for a momentary hard-on?

Entry Filed under: Bush,Politics,Wankers

7 Comments

  • 1. Rafael  |  January 31st, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    I am trying to contact a Sandra Steeves, originally from Nova Scotia. Daughter of Jean Knickle Steeves. May be living in Ontario presently.

  • 2. HopeSpringsATurtle  |  January 31st, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    I was looking all over for this story Eli, thanks for finding it. Wish you had been there–to take pictures I mean.

  • 3. charley  |  January 31st, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    some how i associate this with the post below.

    killing peons is the kind of thing it’s ok to do if you are a hereditary king.

    and speaking of inbreeding, holden has an interesting roundup of of idiot boys comments to wallstreet today. Yesterday, I went to the Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois — that’s where they make big bulldozers.

  • 4. V,  |  January 31st, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    Ich liebe Staplerfahrer Klaus!!

  • 5. GoodOlWhatsisFace  |  January 31st, 2007 at 5:44 pm

    well if someone did get run over, I’m sure they’d appear in a press conference (or else a wheelbarrow containing their remains would be pushed up to a podium) a week later, and apologize for being maimed by a 60-ton bulldozer.

  • 6. Eli  |  January 31st, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    Wish you had been there–to take pictures I mean.

    Oh, I’m pretty glad I wasn’t. Running away from psychopaths in bulldozers really isn’t my cuppa.

    some how i associate this with the post below.

    killing peons is the kind of thing it’s ok to do if you are a hereditary king.

    I do wonder – if the president just flat-out kills someone, does he still have to be impeached in order to be punished for it? If the Congress was still majority Republican, would they be willing to impeach him for that?

  • 7. Eli  |  January 31st, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    well if someone did get run over, I’m sure they’d appear in a press conference (or else a wheelbarrow containing their remains would be pushed up to a podium) a week later, and apologize for being maimed by a 60-ton bulldozer.

    The thought did cross my mind…


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