This Is Why We Watch.

2 comments January 30th, 2007at 06:55pm Posted by Eli

To the casual observer, CSI: Miami appears to be utter and total crap. But to Seasoned Television Observers like myself and the shadowy and mysterious Codename V, it is plain to see that it is a Very Subtle And Clever Parody of the CSI franchise, crime shows in general, and, well, David Caruso.

Don’t believe me? Watch this video of Horatio Caine’s pithy pearls of wisdom, oftimes accompanied by the Dramatic Sunglasses Removal:

Be sure to watch all the way through; it finishes with the opening credits sequence from the episode where they go to Rio, and it is just… grandiosely awful. Sadly, the greatest Horatio Caine line of them all is inexplicably missing: “I’m the fiber king, Dave. The fiber king.”

Some additional proof, if you are not yet convinced that CSI: Miami is a comedy (Behold! Horatio is such a badass that not even his car blowing up fazes him!):

I came across these delightful tidbits while looking for a CSI Miami version of this bit of not-safe-for-work genius (I was sure there would be one, but no dice):

(chain of hat tips: ::matthew > d r i f t g l a s s > Susie Bright > Boing Boing)

The shadowy and mysterious Codename V. got first crack at it, on account of I knew she would do a lot more with it than I could.

I’m still looking for YouTube video of The Greatest CSI Miami Moment Of All Time (the Rio opening credits are a close second), but no dice – I think I’m just going to have to take care of it myself.

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Monday Media Blogging


  • 1. Glenn  |  January 31st, 2007 at 9:23 am

    You are so right about this show and Caruso. However, I really believe he’s performing this way intentionally; he’s too smart an actor not to be. But what about the little interchangeable blond? Is she botoxed to the nth or what? And is Miami really so orange? That can’t be good for your skin.

  • 2. Eli  |  January 31st, 2007 at 10:33 am

    I dunno, man – it looks to me like his ego is just raging out of control (I often wonder if he writes his own dialogue). The show plays like he really is as noble and heroic and resourceful as he thinks he is, and not just a preening gasbag. You never see any of the other characters rolling their eyes or smirking behind their hands when he spouts this stuff.

    Also, bear in mind that this is a show where the coroner Talks. To. The. Corpses. (“Oh, baby, who did this to you?”).

    There was a brilliant SNL sketch where a completely humorless and self-absorbed Ray-Liotta-as-David-Caruso appears with Regis and Kathy Lee and refers to his castmates as “the other talking meat-sticks”. (“Coming up next, we’ll have trivia! Do you like trivia, David?” “NO.”)

    I always thought Calleigh was a little weird to begin with, with her whole sniper fetish thing. But yeah, she does look like she’s maybe had some work done…

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