Archive for February 6th, 2007

Eli’s Obsession With The Google

(UPDATED)

#4 search result for giant stapler in crackdown?

#3 search result for Yuri sonofabitch.

#2 search result for naked banker.

#1 search result for flying monkeys conservatives etymology.

Heh.

2 comments February 6th, 2007 at 07:55pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google,Favorites

Wanker Of The Day

Professional wingnut letter-writer Margaret McGirr:

To the Editor:

As usual, the fashionable view eventually becomes tyrannical and will no longer permit debate. It looks now as if the momentum of the global-warming evangelists is unstoppable.

You state in your Feb. 3 front-page article that the United States accounts for 5 percent of the world’s population and 25 percent of the world’s emissions. Somewhere between consuming and emitting fossil fuels is that thing called United States economic growth, which continues to be a boon to the world — for 2006, a sparkling 3.4 percent.

Some say they don’t want their children to have to cope with the alleged nightmare of climate change, but I am far sadder that my children will have to cope with the reduced richness of opportunity that will exist at every socioeconomic level in an economy crippled by restricted access to the energy that powers it.

It will be a sad sight to watch the spectacular American private-sector engine and the optimistic innovativeness that has always been its hallmark diminished for want of fuel.

Margaret McGirr
Greenwich, Conn., Feb. 3, 2007

Argh. The willful blindness, it burns. Yes, I suppose she would have an excellent point if global warming weren’t real, but I would like to know what makes her so sure it isn’t.

Spork_incident dispenses with her pretty handily here, to which I would only wish to add: To what better and more challenging use could “the spectacular American private-sector engine and the optimistic innovativeness” be put than to try to save humanity from itself?

For some reason, the name “Margaret McGirr” stuck in my mind, so I did some googling and came up with this little gem:

To the Editor:

Re ‘Best Defense: More Offense” (news analysis, front page, Oct,9):

Your statement that John Kerry ‘often seemed to be more in command of his brief, more confident in demeanor’ contradicts the impression made by the front-page photograph in which he sits round-shouldered and looking slightly forlorn, while President Bush takes command of the physical space as he strides out to meet the audience.”

The photograph is the more accurate ‘picture’ of the debate on Friday night. A candidate’s manner of delivery tells us who he is and is every bit as important as his message. ”

President Bush’s energy and liveliness of spirit leave no doubt as to the strength of his convictions. Senator Kerry tells us that he is decisive and optimistic, but his body language and facial expressions fail to convince.

Margaret McGirr
Greenwich, Conn.
Oct. 9, 2004

And if you like that, there’s plenty more where that came from – try searching on her name in combination with “Bush” or “Republican” and I guarantee you’ll see all kinds of juicy little Kool-Aid-saturated, codpiece-worshipping tidbits pop up in the Google. Just charming.

2 comments February 6th, 2007 at 04:22pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Environment,Republicans,Science,Wankers

A Denial-Driven Life

Huzzah!

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ”completely heterosexual.”

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday’s edition.

”He is completely heterosexual,” Ralph said. ”That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”

I have absolutely no idea what that is supposed to mean.

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

Interesting. Apparently as long as you limit your same-sex encounters to just one person, that doesn’t make you gay. So I guess Brokeback Mountain was just another cowboy movie.

Now that he has a clean bill of health, newly-affirmed heterosexual Haggard and wife are ready to move forward with their lives:

Haggard said… that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master’s degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn’t decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.

Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

”This is a good place for Ted,” Ware said. ”It’s hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It’s like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.”

It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.

No sense taking chances, right?

Okay, so… secular work and psychology degrees – does anyone else see Father Ted and Mrs. Ted going into the gay deprogramming business?

2 comments February 6th, 2007 at 03:21pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Religion,Republicans,Teh Gay

This Can Only Be Good For Republicans

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This is hilarious: The Republicans (including Lieberman, of course) were so afraid of a non-binding resolution against the war in Iraq that filibustered it. And this included John Warner, who wrote the resolution, as well as Chuck Hagel (R-NE) and Gordon Smith (R-OR), who both made a big show out of speaking out against it.

Again, they didn’t just vote against the non-binding resolution – they voted against even debating or taking a vote on it. Maybe they didn’t want to go on record as voting against it, since as NARAL teaches us, cloture votes don’t count.

I hope the Democrats remember this the next time the Republicans accuse them of being too willing to filibuster to deny a simple up-or-down vote.

February 6th, 2007 at 02:19pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Iraq,Politics,Republicans,War

Belated Monday Media Blogging – Maddenfreude Edition

Thanks to ::matthew’s mad YouTube skillz, here is the Monday Media Blogging I wanted to post yesterday:

It’s a good thing that Superbowl XLI was aired on CBS, seeing as how John Madden was… indisposed this year, due to some rather unfortunate misadventures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY9IkbiiInE
First, there was the popcorn incident. This was fairly mild, and by itself would not be enough to slow down the indomitable John Madden.


Unfortunately, the Serial Power Tool Mishaps were simply too much to overcome.

But fear not! It will take a lot more than a little mutilation to shut John Madden up! I bet you he’ll be back up and shooting Vagisil commercials in record time.

2 comments February 6th, 2007 at 12:19pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

The Mark Of Royalty

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The spork of kings.

3 comments February 6th, 2007 at 11:47am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Comics


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