Archive for February 13th, 2007

Eli’s Obsession With The Google

#1 search result for Secrets Of Cuteness.

I shit you not.

*belches and scratches ass*

2 comments February 13th, 2007 at 09:08pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google

Missed Opportunity

Now Melissa’s resigned too, and I’ll use the same excerpt Echidne chose:

There will be some who clamor to claim victory for my resignation, but I caution them that in doing so, they are tacitly accepting responsibility for those who have deluged my blog and my inbox with vitriol and veiled threats. It is not right-wing bloggers, nor people like Bill Donohue or Bill O’Reilly, who prompted nor deserve credit for my resignation, no matter how much they want it, but individuals who used public criticisms of me as an excuse to unleash frightening ugliness, the likes of which anyone with a modicum of respect for responsible discourse would denounce without hesitation.

This is a win for no one.

Sigh. I know I’m being insensitive to how hard this was for Amanda and Melissa to go through, but I can’t help but think what a huge missed opportunity this was in terms of narrative.

Instead of “Liberal bloggers cave to conservative/religious pressure”, the narrative should have been, “Liberal bloggers subjected to threats and vulgar attacks by out-of-control right-wing pseudo-religious hatemongers.” Yes, Amanda and Melissa will tell the sordid tale on their blogs, but that’s just not the same kind of platform as Edwards himself would have had if he angrily denounced the hypocrites attacking his staffers, and demanded to know where their sense of Christian decency is. It could have been a “teachable moment” about the Republicans’ amoral slash-and-burn approach to politics. Edwards would be a hero, and Donohue would be exposed for the villain he is.

I know, it’s just Not The Way Things Are Done in Civilityworld, but until you reveal what these people are and make them pay a price for crawling out from under their rocks, they’re just going to keep coming back again, and again, and again, and they’ll be taken seriously Every. Single. Time.

7 comments February 13th, 2007 at 07:40pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Religion,Republicans,Sexism,Wankers


The Republican blueprint for success:

Step 1. Take something that’s working and fuck it up beyond all recognition.

Step 2. Take six years to attain something considerably worse than the old status quo.

Step 3. Declare victory and strut around in your codpiecey glory.

Step 4. Raze, blather, repeat.

3 comments February 13th, 2007 at 12:34pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,North Korea,Republicans

Isn’t It Iranic

Admittedly, I’m a little late to the party on this one, but I can’t help thinking how delicious it would be after the Rathergate scandal about kerning, if this ended up derailing the administration’s push for war with Iran. Of course, it would have to receive the same kind of breathless reporting that Rathergate and the Swifties received, and what are the odds of that?

In a sane and just world, the debunking of one component of BushCo’s case for war would be enough to discredit the whole thing, but that rule only applies to narratives that favor Democrats.

5 comments February 13th, 2007 at 10:32am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Cheney,Iran,Iraq,Media,Republicans,Wankers,War

I Hate Being Right.

Here’s me, almost two years ago, babbling about reality TV and “Personal Narrative”:

Before reality TV, if you were a nobody, deep down on some level, you knew you were a nobody. It was just the way the world was. But now, it looks like any nobody can attain 15 minutes of undeserved stardom on some cheesy reality show, so now instead of being just a nobody, everyone can think of themselves as the star of their own reality show, and behave as the stars of actual reality show have instructed them: Be rude, be loud, be selfish, be deceitful, be narcissistic and vain, that’s the only way to get ahead and get noticed! Reality TV is steroids for the Personal Narrative, complete with the ‘roid rage and general social maladjustment, as dysfunctional, antisocial behavior is made to seem normal and even admirable.

Here’s Joel Achenbach in Sunday’s WaPo:

America has become a land where modesty is considered slightly pathological, and potentially curable with medication. We’re a society in which delusions of grandeur are actively encouraged by parents and teachers who fear that a child’s self-esteem cannot endure the torment of being merely somewhat above average. (How do I know? Because I’m one of America’s leading arbiters of truth. On my business card it says, “Arbiter of Truth, Raconteur, Sensualist.”) The most popular show in the country, and the best indication that we are a nation gone insane, is “American Idol,” which is full of people who believe they have singing talent even as they sound like cats trying to hawk up hairballs.


Hubris has become as essential to our culture as fossil fuel. We do everything bigger, louder, faster. Zeal has replaced equanimity. The passionate outburst is the new behavioral baseline. Shame is as old-fashioned as marmalade.

What’s strange is that the tendency for excess to backfire does not seem to have the same inhibitory quality that it once did. People fail upward.

Bode Miller somehow remains our most famous Olympic-class skier despite getting skunked at the Olympics. Lindsay Lohan can commute to rehab all she wants without any evaporation of her celebrity. Barry Bonds may be up to his thyroid in rumors about performance-enhancing drugs, but he still briefly got his own reality show on ESPN. O.J. Simpson’s “confession” book finally pushed shamelessness too far even for our indulgent society. But just before that, he managed to produce a pay-per-view TV show, “Juiced,” in which he played pranks on people, like trying to sell a white Bronco at a used car lot. I can’t wait for Charles Manson to have a talk show.

…It used to be that people suspected that their successes were undeserved; now they’re more likely to think it’s their lack of fame that’s bizarre….

And today’s NYT completes the cycle…

Schoolyard scraps, spectacular skateboard spills, puppy-love quarrels, goofy antics like placing a slice of American cheese over the face of a snoring buddy, and bruising stunts like hurling one’s body through a neighbor’s wooden fence – these and other staples of suburban teenage life have taken on a new dimension as online cinema verite. Instead of being whispered about among friends and then fading away, such rites of ridiculousness are now routinely captured on video and posted on the Internet for worldwide perusal, and posterity.

“Teens have been doing inappropriate things for a long time, but now they think they can become celebrities by doing it,” said Dr. Andrew Adesman, chief of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Schneider Children´┐Żs Hospital at Long Island Jewish Medical Center.


“Anytime a teen is around friends now, anything they do can be filmed and put online,” Ms. Aftab said. “They say, ‘I can become a movie star or at least make it onto “The Montel Williams Show.” ‘…”

Much as I enjoy YouTube, one of its pernicious effects has been to bring reality TV to the masses – it’s like DIY Punk’d or Jackass

When will people realize that not everyone gets to be famous? Or that not everyone who becomes famous deserves it?

(I suppose blogging could be considered an extension of this phenomenon, but it’s generally not as frenetic… depending on the blog.)

5 comments February 13th, 2007 at 10:14am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Technology,TV,Wankers

Untigerable Cuteness

They’re so cute before the ripping-your-face-off stage…

2 comments February 13th, 2007 at 07:37am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Cuteness

Interspecies Neocons

Free Image Hosting at
Dig the punchline.

Come to think of it, this one kinda fits too…

Free Image Hosting at

1 comment February 13th, 2007 at 12:57am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Cheney,Comics,Republicans,Terrorism,War

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