Archive for February 28th, 2007

Advice Of The Day

What not to say if your mom is jealous of you:

Try to avoid saying things like, “I can afford this nice coat because my job pays more than yours ever did,” or “My husband treats me better than dad treats you.”

Sometimes the best advice is the most obvious.

2 comments February 28th, 2007 at 07:32pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes

This Surprises… No-One.

Hey, guess what!

The fired U.S. attorney in New Mexico says he was pressured by two members of Congress prior to the November elections about the pace of an ongoing public corruption probe that targets local Democrats.

David C. Iglesias — who is leaving today after more than five years in office — said he received separate calls in October from two federal lawmakers, whom he declined to identify. Iglesias said he suspects the episode led the Justice Department to include him in a wave of firings of federal prosecutors late last year.

“They were fishing around for information in terms of the status of the investigation,” Iglesias said in an interview, referring to the lawmakers. “They were fishing around for a timetable. Those are things I’m prohibited from talking about.”

Iglesias said the callers seemed focused on whether indictments in the case might be issued prior to the elections.

“I didn’t give them what they wanted,” Iglesias said. “That was probably a political problem that caused them to go to the White House or whomever and complain that I wasn’t a team player.”

(…)

…Iglesias said the two lawmakers called him about a well-known criminal probe involving a Democratic legislator. He declined to provide their party affiliation, but suggested by his comments that the callers were Republicans. [No shit.]
Local media outlets reported last year that the FBI and Iglesias’s office had opened a probe into allegations involving a former longtime Democratic state senator, Manny Aragon, and government construction projects in Bernalillo County. No charges have been issued in the case.

Iglesias said the phone calls made him feel “pressured to hurry the subsequent cases and prosecutions,” but he also said he did not receive similar contacts from anyone in the executive branch. He also said he made a mistake by not reporting the calls to the Justice Department as “inappropriate contacts.” Now he believes the contacts lie at the root of his firing.

“I suspect that was the reason I was asked to step down, but I don’t know that I’ll ever know,” Iglesias said.

Now watch the Bushies say that he was fired for not contacting the Justice Department about the phone calls. Because they’re so by-the-book about the law and proper procedure and stuff.

Even if Iglesias is wrong about the reason for his firing, that does not erase the fact that Republican congressmen were pressuring him to use an indictment as a political weapon, and I sure would like to see them get called on that. Not sure why he would withhold their names – I guess it would be actionable if he were to name names on an accusation like that, unless he had solid proof, like a recording.

3 comments February 28th, 2007 at 07:22pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Judiciary,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Why I Can’t Take Fashion Seriously

fashion.jpg
What.

1 comment February 28th, 2007 at 06:43pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weirdness

Couldn’t Shiv The Habit

Might be time for prisons to start stocking up on nicotine patches…

Two inmates housed in a smoke-free prison traded a hostage for cigarettes after a six-hour standoff.

Billy Grubb, 32, and Bradley Johnson, 25, attacked the guard Monday night, said Howard Carlton, warden of the Northeast Correctional Complex.

”As the night progressed they started saying, ‘Look, we’ll give up if you let us have some tobacco. If you do that, we’ll go back to our cell,”’ Carlton said. ”They got them some cigarettes, they smoked them and went back to their cell and locked themselves back in.”

I think the moral of this story is pretty obvious: Never take a job as a guard in a smoke-free prison.

4 comments February 28th, 2007 at 04:40pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Prisoners,Weirdness

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Maureen Dowd

Structurally, she appears to be talking up Al Gore, yet everything she says ridicules and belittles him.

The best ex-president who was never president could make one of the most interesting campaigns in American history even more interesting. Will he use his green moment on the red carpet in black tie to snag blue states and win the White House?

Ooo, look at that clever thing she did with all the colors!

Only the Goracle knows the answer.

The Goracle? Jebus.

The man who was prescient on climate change, the Internet, terrorism and Iraq admitted that maybe his problem had been that he was too far ahead of the curve. He realized at a conference that “there’re ideas that are mature, ideas that are maturing, ideas that are past their prime … and a category called ‘predawn.’

“And all of a sudden it hit me,” he told John Heilemann of New York magazine last year. “Most of my political career was spent investing in predawn ideas! I thought, Oh, that’s where I went wrong.”

So far, so good, right?

As Mr. Gore basked Sunday night in the adoration of Leo, Laurie David and the rest of the Hollywood hybrid-drivers, Democrats wondered: Is this chubby guy filling out the Ralph Lauren three-piece tuxedo a mature idea or an idea that’s past its prime?

HAHAHA! Al Gore’s fat fat fatty fat! HAHAHAHAHA! And probably over-the-hill, too!

If he waits long enough to get into the race, all the usual-suspect-consultants will be booked – which would be a boon for Mr. Gore, since his Hessian strategists in 2000 made him soft-pedal the environment, the very issue that makes him seem most passionate and authentic. The same slides about feedback loops and the interconnectedness of weather patterns that made his image-makers yawn just won his movie an Academy Award.

I actually kinda like her point here, but there is more than enough evidence that the supply of incompetent Democratic consultants is all but infinite.

Mr. Gore must be pleased that he’s been vindicated on so many fronts, yet it still must rankle the Nobel Peace Prize nominee to hear the White House spouting such dangerous nonsense. He must sometimes imagine how much safer the world would be if he were president.The Bush-Cheney years have been all about dragging the country into the past, getting back the presidential powers yanked away after Watergate, settling scores from Poppy Bush’s old war, and suppressing scientific and environmental advances. Instead of aiming for the stars, the greatest power on earth is bogged down in poorly navigated conflicts with ancient tribes and brutes in caves.

Good, good…

Surely the Goracle, an aficionado of futurism, must stew about all the time and money and good will that has been wasted with a Vietnam replay and a scolding social policy designed to expunge the Age of Aquarius.

When he’s finished Web surfing, tweaking his PowerPoint and BlackBerrying, what goes through his head? Does he blame himself? Does he blame the voting machines? Ralph Nader? Robert Shrum? Naomi Wolf? How about Bush Inc. and Clinton Inc.?

“The Goracle” is a smart guy, MoDo. So he probably blames YOU. (HAHAHA! Al Gore’s a techno-nerd! HAHAHAHAHA!)

With the red carpet rolled up, the tux at the cleaner’s, and the gold statuette on the director’s mantle, not his, the Goracle is at his Nashville mansion, contemplating how to broker his next deal. Will he cast himself as the savior of the post-Bush era, or will the first Gore in the Oval Office be Karenna, mother of Oscar?

Yes, it’s all just like making a movie; everything is image with The Goracle, and nothing is real. Once again, MoDo apparently makes the mistake of believing that everyone is as shallow and cynical as she is.

It is almost impossible to read a MoDo column without cringing. She’s so in love with showing off what a snarky and jaded Mean Girl she is, that she’s become almost incapable of expressing a serious, honest idea. I think maybe she needs to have a long talk with Deathlok the pacifist cyborg.

6 comments February 28th, 2007 at 07:41am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Elections,Media,Politics,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Be afraid. Be very afraid:

STANLEY, East Falkland — Penguins raided a herring shop today, injuring the store owner and at least twenty-six customers.

“And I’m afraid that’s just the start,” said bird expert Alan Gannett. “They’ve been getting bolder in their dealings with humans and we’ve discovered why: they’re hoarding leftover munitions from the 1982 Falklands War.”

Gannett calls the birds’ weapons-caching an offshoot of their nesting behavior.

“Well, what did we expect?” Gannett said. “The RAF plunked their Mount Pleasant station right in the middle of the Gentoo penguins’ habitat. Gentoos with blotchier markings disappeared against the soldiers and equipment, making those birds safe from local predators.” The result? Local Gentoos now wear the official camouflage of the British land forces, albeit in black and white.

The penguins have also gathered helmets and grenades and have consequently lost their status as an endangered species.

“In fact, the birds have nearly obliterated their natural enemies, the leopard seals,” according to Gannett. “I’ve actually seen Gentoos mimic British sonar equipment and pinpoint these predators underwater with a quack. They’ve also learned to use the grenades as little depth charges.”

But Gannett said the balance of power could change.

“If the seals continue to hang out near their visiting U.S. Navy counterparts, imitating their attack strategies, the tide may turn soon.”

But which ones will be the first to acquire nukes?

February 28th, 2007 at 07:18am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Space!!!

Exciting space news:

The New Horizons spacecraft, launched from Earth by NASA some 13 months ago, is moving in for a close encounter with Jupiter on Wednesday that should let it test its suite of instruments before being flung off toward the distant target of Pluto and its trio of moons.

The half-ton, atomic-powered robot craft is to make more than 700 observations of Jupiter and its four largest moons by June. A period of high-intensity observations began last Saturday and will peak after the craft makes its closest approach to Jupiter on Wednesday, passing 1.4 million miles from the center of the giant planet.

(Does that seem like an odd formulation to anyone else? Why not describe it in terms of distance from Jupiter’s surface?)

New Horizons is powered by a small plutonium-fueled electric generator, and its instruments include three cameras, for visible-light, infrared and ultraviolet images, a space-dust collector and three spectrometers to study the chemical composition and temperatures of the worlds it investigates.

Very appropriate that the first robot probe to visit Pluto would be powered by Plutonium. And it’s probably cheaper than old people’s medicine, too.

February 28th, 2007 at 01:02am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Science,Technology

Steampunk Is Teh Future!

27fusi4501.jpg
Max Whittaker/New York Times

NYT has an intriguing story about nuclear fusion, including a rather bizarre strategy to use sound waves to make “small-scale desktop fusion” possible – or, more accurately, worthwhile (starting and maintaining a fusion reaction is not the tricky part; doing it for less energy than the reaction generates is the tricky part). The story also covers more traditional, large-scale approaches, like blasting fuel pellets with lasers, and using magnetic torii as containment fields.

I don’t think we’ll get it in time, if at all, but sustainable fusion power really would be exactly what we need right now. Petroleum reserves are gradually running out, are largely located in unstable and/or unfriendly parts of the world, and are contributing to the greenhouse effect, along with coal. Fusion reactions basically run on water, and their waste by-product is… helium. And not even radioactive helium, at that.

Unfortunately, as the Republicans have yet to learn, simply needing something to happen does not actually make it happen. The universe does not grant wishes.

1 comment February 28th, 2007 at 12:29am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Energy,Science,Technology


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