Great Moments In Criminal Defense

3 comments February 9th, 2007at 12:38pm Posted by Eli

And you thought the Libby defense was lame…

The Manhattan yoga instructor accused of killing his stripper ex-girlfriend recited poetry and even rapped in court yesterday as he denied stabbing Catherine Woods to death.

Taking the witness stand in Manhattan Supreme Court, Paul Cortez insisted he did not kill Woods on Nov. 27, 2005 – and tried to explain how his bloody fingerprint may have ended up on a wall in her upper East Side apartment.

Prosecutors are using the fingerprint to pin the murder on Cortez. But he told jurors he and Woods sometimes had sex when she menstruated. Asked by his attorney Laura Miranda if he ever got his hands “dirty” during sex, he said, “Yes.”

Miranda then asked him if he touched the walls during his repeated romps with Woods.

“I might have, yes,” he said.

Okay, so… There’s no way to differentiate between menstrual blood and arterial blood? There’s no way to determine relative “freshness” of blood? ‘Cuz I’m assuming that Crazy Yoga Boy hadn’t had sex with her for quite a while before she was killed. Also, is it really plausible that Woods would have left a Bloody Sex Fingerprint on her wall and not cleaned it off? That’s a hell of a strange way to cling to the memory of happier times.

…[P]rosecutors say Cortez, 26, fantasized about killing Woods after she broke off their relationship. Prosecutors have accused Cortez of penning macabre poems and song lyrics describing the brutal slaying.

Rocking from side to side, Cortez performed the rap-like recitation of his song “Killin’ Machine” in the courtroom yesterday. Cortez said the lyrics – including “Shakin’ on the killin’ machine, ya got violated” – had nothing to do with Woods. The title of the song, he said, actually refers to a jumbo-sized sex toy.

“It’s actually a nice song,” he said.

Well played, Crazy Yoga Boy. Well played.

Entry Filed under: Weirdness


  • 1. Jenny from the Blog  |  February 9th, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    What kind of yoga instructor is this? If he was legit they’d mention where he teaches! I’m suspect. (I say this as a longtime yoga practitioner… this story is nuts!)

    Oh, and TKK, if you’re around… I’M SO PROUD!!! (Although I’m kinda feeling nervous for the Olsen twins now).

    (I can’t comment at your place for some crazy reason…)

  • 2. Eli  |  February 9th, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    Heh. I’m kicking myself for not picking her – it seems so obvious in retrospect.

    Hey, do you have JavaScript enabled? It’s kind of necessary to comment on New Blogger blogs (and possibly now Haloscan too). I had to get the Opera mobile browser just to be able to comment anywhere on my Treo.

  • 3. Jenny from the Blog  |  February 9th, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    Eli, I was able to comment at TKK’s before, which is how I got my macabre list published in the first place. It’s a mystery.

    Isn’t 4-legs on blogger too? I’m okay there. Oh well… I am disappointed I can’t pick up my points in *person* but I’ll be okay. ;)

    Hope you’re doing well! (You’re not on my list so you should be fine).

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