Going, Going, Gonzales

3 comments April 19th, 2007at 09:19pm Posted by Eli

The Toastmaster Attorney General.

So, what did AG-Squared have to do to save his job today? WaPo, by way of Christy:

Bush does not think Gonzales did anything wrong in dismissing the prosecutors, according to aides, but has been aggravated by his friend’s clumsy, shifting explanations of what happened. In effect, advisers said, Bush is giving Gonzales a chance to fix the situation today.

What happens if he does not remains unclear. No one in the White House believes Gonzales can say anything that would get Democrats to drop the matter, but his supporters hope he can be confident and consistent enough to explain his role without providing more ammunition for critics. Should he stumble, some Republicans said, Gonzales has a responsibility to fall on his sword, sparing Bush having to ask.

So, how’d he do? Well, um, not so hot:

CNN reporting quotes from White House senior aides.

“Going down in flames.”

“Not doing himself any favors.”

“Watching clubbing a baby seal.” (watching testimony)

“Very troubling.”

“Don’t understand that tactic Gonzales used.”

A lot of ex-prosecutors in the Senate, and they smell blood. Even the Republicans, who are taking this opportunity to score some easy Independent-Minded-Defenders-Of-The-Constitution points against the Dead AG Walking.

Really, just a complete disaster by all accounts. Only a clueless blithering idiot would think Gonzo did well.

Statement from White House spokeswoman Dana Perino:

President Bush was pleased with the Attorney General’s testimony today. After hours of testimony in which he answered all of the Senators’ questions and provided thousands of pages of documents, he again showed that nothing improper occurred. He admitted the matter could have been handled much better, and he apologized for the disruption to the lives of the U.S. Attorneys involved, as well as for the lack of clarity in his initial responses. The Attorney General has the full confidence of the President, and he appreciates the work he is doing at the Department of Justice to help keep our citizens safe from terrorists, our children safe from predators, our government safe from corruption, and our streets free from gang violence.

Yeswell. Like I said.

UPDATE: I almost forgot about Jeffrey Feldman’s brilliant Tao of Gonzo:

Verse 1:

“I now understand that there was a conversation between me and the President.” –Tao of Gonzo, Apr 19, 2007

Ah, yes. Here we are introduced to a moment of deep spiritual contemplation. There are times in our lives, he is saying, when we understand the experiences we have when we are having them. I at a sandwich, I understand. I drive to work, I understand. But there are other times when we have an experience, but we do not understand the experience as such at the time. For argument’s sake, we could call these “moments we are breaking the law.” For example, if we are having a conversation with the President and his advisers about illegally circumventing the authority of Congress, it may be difficult to understand that it is happening at the time. One might say, I am having this conversation, but is this really me? Is this really a conversation? Is this really a law and if it is not a law, then can I be breaking this law in this conversation that may or may not be happening? These are moments of spiritual drift, vagueness of identity. Am I undermining the Constitution? Hard to say. Am I in violating the public trust? Hard to say. Am I in charge of my own actions? Not clear. They are moments of great spiritual questioning, wonderment, lack of understanding.

It is only when we revisit these moments of spiritual doubt under duress of, say, being convicted of perjury by a Senate committee–only in these moments does our spiritual fuzziness snap into sudden focus. Ah, yes! Like rings on the duck pond, the ambiguity recedes to the shores of self-doubt, leaving behind a moment of clarity. Indeed it was a conversation. Indeed it was the President. Indeed it was a conversation. “I understand that there was a conversation between me and the President.” Which is to say, “Now, unlike before, I am able to see. I can understand that my own actions were indeed actions and that I did indeed experience them.” I understand, now.

*applauds with one hand*

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Republicans,Rove


  • 1. dirk gently, sociopathetic  |  April 19th, 2007 at 9:24 pm

    as well as for the lack of clarity in his initial responses

    funny, i found his initial responses very clear.

    completely untrue, but very clear.

  • 2. virgotex  |  April 19th, 2007 at 9:33 pm

    so that was a “tactic,” huh?


    If Barney took a dump on the floor, hell, if Laura took a dump on the floor during a presidential address, the Chimp would just smile like a simpleton and sell it the American public like a floral bouquet.

  • 3. Eli  |  April 19th, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    The only tactical thing going on here was the use of Gonzales as a sacrificial lamb to let the Republican Senators look like they actually give a shit about the rule of law.

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