Archive for May 14th, 2007

The Conductor-In-Chief

Bill Tiernan/The Virginian-Pilot

And now, your moment of zen…

He’s the president, he can do what he wants.

On Sunday, George Bush wanted to conduct a 400-piece symphony playing at the 400th anniversary celebration of the first permanent English settlement in America, at Jamestown.

Midway through a rousing rendition of “The Stars and Stripes Forever,” Bush took the baton from JoAnn Falletta, musical director of the Virginia Symphony Orchestra.

While the Anniversary Park crowd of several thousand roared, the president led the musicians for two minutes without a hitch.

Bush pointed to all sections of the orchestra, which included young musicians from around the country. He implored crescendos. His grin burst with pleasure.


Falletta said the commander in chief had a good ear.

“He was very musical,” she said. “He was cueing the brass; he was cueing the percussion. He kept the tempo going.”

I think Dubya has pretty much given up on any actual governance at this point, and is now just focusing solely on enjoying the presidency-as-reality-show-prize, which was really the only aspect of it he was ever interested in.

Either that, or he’s finally listening to Bill Maher’s advice from a few Friedmans ago:

Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you anymore. There’s no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you also used up the army….

…Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

Admittedly, conductor seems a bit of a reach, but he’s in kind of the fantasy-job shopping-around phase right now. My money is on bulldozer driver, lion tamer, or beer taster.

(h/t The All-Seeing Eye Of Froomkin)

May 14th, 2007 at 06:19pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Weirdness

An Encouraging Announcement

From Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora (I know he has a good reason for calling himself Chief, I just can’t recall it at the moment):

I, Chief Osi Umenyiora, have officially declared myself to be the best defensive end in the NFL. To prove that fact, I will have one of the best seasons ever by a defensive end. If not, I will jump off the George Washington Bridge. I do not want to jump off the George Washington Bridge because it would be detrimental to my health. Thanks for listening.

You heard it, people. That Giants defense is going to totally rock.

May 14th, 2007 at 11:40am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Sports

Shocking Revelation Of The Day

Apparently, people watch the network news because they want actual news.

Who knew?

May 14th, 2007 at 11:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,TV

Monday Media Blogging

If you have not seen Amazon Women On The Moon, now you don’t have to, as this is pretty much the only funny part of the entire movie. It’s Ed Begley Jr. as the Son Of The Invisible Man.

NOTE: May not be safe for work, depending on your individual workplace’s policies regarding Ed Begley Jr’s naked ass.

3 comments May 14th, 2007 at 07:36am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

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