Archive for May 23rd, 2007


I’m writing this on the bus on my way to softball, so it will be necessarily brief, vague, and unlinky. It also means I won’t have a chance to take a close look at Monica’s testimony for a while, but my impressions of what I’ve seen so far have been pretty underwhelming.

My understanding is that when a Fifth-taking potential witness is granted immunity so that they’ll testify, they have to tell the prosecutors what beans they’re going to spill, so the prosecutors can decide whether it’s worth it. Sometimes the prosecutors will make an exception, as Fitz did for Ari Fleischer, but I understand that that is pretty rare, and the witness has to convince them that they have some really blockbuster stuff.

Now, I’m pretty sure I read that Monica Goodling went through this process to get immunity for her House Judiciary Committee testimony, and I have to ask: Just what was it that she promised them?

Based on what I’ve seen so far (again, admittedly not complete), these are the beans she has spilled in exchange for her get-out-of-jail-free card:

o She, um, may have broken the law with her hiring practices, but she just got carried away and she totally didn’t mean to.

o Even though she was the DOJ’s White House Liaison, she had very little contact with anyone important at the WH, and never talked to Karl or Harriet about any USAs.

o The WH was involved, but she didn’t know anything about it, it was all McNulty. Or Sampson. Or someone else who’s already gone…

o Gonzo tried to have an oh-so-subtle let’s-get-our-stories-straight conversation with her.

o Some of the things that Gonzo and DOJ did were pretty damn inappropriate.

That seems kinda… thin to me for giving her that kind of a free pass. Did the Dems know that that was all she was going to say and gave her immunity anyway, or did she double-cross them? Or did they give her immunity on blind faith? Or was there some major bombshell that I’m missing here?

Also, a lot of what I saw sounded pretty dodgy to me – will the Dems go after her for perjury?

May 23rd, 2007 at 06:19pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Politics,Republicans

Heckuva Job, Pervy

You can add Pakistan’s dictator to the long list of anti-democratic Mini-Mes who Bush props up long after it becomes clear that they are incompetent, toxic, and destructive. Because those are apparently traits he admires.

May 23rd, 2007 at 11:52am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Politics,Terrorism

Quote Of The Day

From an NYT story about shark parthogenesis:

I would be concerned about a lot of other things than whether or not a female shark can get a date for an evening.

Scientists have no empathy at all.

May 23rd, 2007 at 11:39am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Science


The Democrats appear to have completely forgotten why they got elected in 2006, which was to end the war and clean up the culture of corruption that the Republicans have cultivated in Congress.

Right now it looks like they’re 0-for-2. If they don’t show any results, if they continue to look like they’re dragging their feet or missing their spines, then the 2008 election will be a huge disappointment. Base voters will feel betrayed, the converts who voted for them in 2006 will feel like they were ripped off and lied to. Most importantly, the Democrats won’t be able to tie war and corruption around the Republicans’ necks, because they are now enabling them. Brilliant.

1 comment May 23rd, 2007 at 07:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Iraq,Politics,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Apparently, Jewish mice are not to be trusted…

BROOKYLN, N.Y. — While preparing for Sabbath services at the Brocheh of Our Fathers Synagogue, Rabbi Bernard Weinstein discovered an unusual group of rodents scurrying across the pulpit.

“I spotted five or six mice racing toward the Ark, where the Torah is kept,” said Weinstein. “They were all carrying shiny objects in their forepaws as they darted into the wall.”

Weinstein grabbed a flashlight from his office and shined it into the small hole in which the mice had fled.

“It was a treasure trove,” said Weinstein. “There were dozens of coins, lapel pins and even some jewelry. This explained where missing valuables had gone. I’d assumed that congregants had lost them elsewhere or they were accidentally collected by the custodian, since we never found any lost items.”

It turns out these enterprising pests had also stored large amounts of matzoh, challah and kosher cheese in the mouse lair.

“Obviously, those things had been taken from the kitchen,” Rabbi Weinstein said. Though determined to return the valuables to their owners, Weinstein couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in the hardworking mice.

“These rodents have done very well for themselves,” said Weinstein. “I’ve always heard that church mice are poor. The same obviously can’t be said for synagogue mice.”

I’m feeling vaguely offended…

May 23rd, 2007 at 07:11am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

It Was Necessary To Destroy Falwell’s Funeral In Order To Save It

This is some seriously messed-up logic right here:

…Campbell County authorities arrested a Liberty University student for having several homemade bombs in his car.

The student, 19-year-old Mark D. Uhl of Amissville, Va., reportedly told authorities that he was making the bombs to stop protesters from disrupting the funeral service. The devices were made of a combination of gasoline and detergent, a law enforcement official told ABC News’ Pierre Thomas. They were “slow burn,” according to the official, and would not have been very destructive.


Three other suspects are being sought, one of whom is a soldier from Fort Benning, Ga., and another is a high school student. No information was available on the third suspect.

Firebombs for Jesus!

4 comments May 23rd, 2007 at 12:07am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Religion,Republicans,Terrorism,Weirdness

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