Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

May 9th, 2007at 09:21am Posted by Eli

They’re just trying to be helpful…

In 1970, astronaut Al LeGume left a souvenir on the lunar surface. “It was a Polaroid of my family,” he said. “I considered the picture a monument for future colonists. I never expected to see it again.”

But a strange midnight visit to the astronaut’s home proved him wrong. “Loud knocks on the front door woke me up,” the astronaut explained. “When I got downstairs I saw a blinding glare through the mail slot. Nearby, my son’s toy monkey was agitatedly banging cymbals. When I opened the door I found, on my welcome mat the slightly sun-bleached photo I’d left on the moon.”

Eerily,***Weekly World News***heard similar stories from seven other NASA retirees, who have recovered lost spacesuit gloves, cameras, a wrench and even a jar of Tang. “Whichever aliens are behind this – and we suspect the green E.T.s of Ecolo-G – it’s a lovely gesture,” LeGume said. “But it’s quickly becoming inconvenient.Last week, the base of the Lunar Excursion Module appeared on the front lawn of a former mission director. It would make a lovely planter but nothing really grows… for blocks. It***did***absorb a lot of cosmic rays, sitting on the lunar surface.” To dissuade aliens from returning any more artifacts, NASA plans to float a cease-and-desist message in orbit. The mission ranks surprisingly high on the space agency’s list of priorities.

“They’re worried about some dud test nukes we sent up during the sixties,” LeGume revealed. “Nobody wants ***them*** showing up in any mail bag anytime soon.”

This is why it is important to always clean up after yourself.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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