The Continuing Saga Of The Golden Pants

June 25th, 2007at 05:40pm Posted by Eli

Well, this is as it should be:

The D.C. administrative law judge who sued his neighborhood dry cleaner for $54 million over a pair of lost pants found out this morning what he’s going to get for all his troubles.


In a verdict that surprised no one, except perhaps the plaintiff himself, a D.C. Superior Court judge denied Roy Pearson the big payday he claimed was his due.

Delivering her decision in writing, Judge Judith Bartnoff wrote 23 pages dissecting and dismissing Pearson’s claim that he was defrauded by the owners of Custom Cleaners and their “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign.

“A reasonable consumer would not interpret ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’ to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer’s unreasonable demands or to accede to demands that the merchant has reasonable grounds to dispute,” the ruling said. ” . . . The plaintiff is not entitled to any relief whatsoever.”

It was a pointed rebuke of Pearson’s claim, and came with an order to pay the cleaners’ court costs. But even bigger troubles may loom for Pearson.

Financially, he could soon be on the hook for tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees incurred by the owners of Customer Cleaners. Attorneys for the Chungs have said they will seek such payments, as well as sanctions against Pearson for bringing the lawsuit. Bartnoff said in her ruling that she would decide those issues after both sides have filed their motions, counter-motions and legal briefs.

Professionally, Pearson could find himself out of his $96,000-a-year job as an administrative law judge for the District government.

Look, I’ve had my share of bad customer service experiences, including dry cleaners who lost some of my favorite shirts for several weeks, and I can relate to the desire to make them pay, but $54 million (originally $65 million) is literally insane unless you’ve suffered some sort of severe personal harm or lost a loved one. A (possibly) lost pair of pants from a thousand-dollar suit does not even befin to approach that kind of standard.

If the administrative law court re-ups this out-of-control jackass for a full ten-year term, then they’re as crazy and irresponsible as he is.

Entry Filed under: Wankers,Weirdness

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