Catch 9-11

2 comments July 12th, 2007at 11:39am Posted by Eli

Oh noes! Teh Scary Terrorists are back!

Al Qaeda has regrouped and recovered from losses the terror network suffered during six years of bombings, assassinations and war with the U.S. following 9/11, a new intelligence report says.

The report, prepared by the intelligence community for a White House meeting today, is titled “Al Qaeda better positioned to strike the West” and gives bad news about Osama Bin Laden’s henchmen and their resiliency.

Al Qaeda is stronger than it was a year ago and has “regrouped to an extent not seen since 2001,” the report said, according to sources.

“They are showing greater and greater ability to plan attacks in Europe and the U.S.,” concludes the report, first obtained by The Associated Press.


Since Pakistan struck a truce with Pashtun tribal leaders a year ago and yanked back its border forces, Al Qaeda has set up camps near Afghanistan. The area is “probably” where Bin Laden is hiding, CIA official John Kringen told a House panel yesterday.

Kringen said Al Qaeda is “fairly well-settled” in the craggy tribal belt, where “we see more training, we see more money and we see more communications.”

OMG! We totally have to support Dubya and the Republicans now! They’re the only ones who can keep us safe from- Wait a minute. If they’re such brilliant anti-terroristic manly men, then why is it that al Qaeda is back at full strength?

Why, it’s almost as if they completely forgot about al Qaeda, or maybe weren’t concerned about them, perhaps because they decided to focus on something else – like maybe a big and expensive war that had nothing to do with fighting terrorism? Or maybe it was just too hard to properly monitor all those phone calls to and from al Qaeda because they inconsiderately refused to speak English, so instead of hiring more translators, the administration decided to spy on English-speaking political adversaries instead?

Whatever the reason, the record speaks for itself: The Republicans did nothing to stop 9/11, did not even show an interest in stopping 9/11, and in the six years since have done absolutely squat to shut down al Qaeda after failing to finish them off in Afghanistan. If anything, they’ve administered mouth-to-mouth, CPR, defibrillators, and that big-ass epinephrine needle to the heart to bring al Qaeda all the way back to life.

If Americans are truly afraid of terrorism, then electing Republicans should be the last thing they want to do. The Democrats should be pointing this out every time the Bush administration helpfully reminds us of its failure.

And if, God forbid, the Bushies drop our pants for al Qaeda again, maybe the American people will finally realize that talking tough and being tough are not the same thing.

Entry Filed under: Bush,Republicans,Terrorism


  • 1. PoliShifter  |  July 12th, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    BushCo never wanted to catch Bin Laden or stop Al Qaeda. If they did, their glorious war on terror would for all practical purposes be over. The whole point was to keep Saddam from trading oil in Euros and allow U.S. and U.K. oil companies to develop Iraq’s oil fields while simultaneously pumping bilions of dollars into the military industrial complex.

    It comes as no surprise to me. Bush time and time again has said he don’t think about Bin Laden too much and don’t spend too much time on him. They’ve had chances to target Al Qaeda in the Pakistan border several times and failed to pull the trigger.

    All they do now is try to cloud the issue by telling us “we’re fighting Al Qaeda in Iraq…the same Qaedas that attacked us on 9/11” when nothing could be further from the truth.

    All lies. Nothing but lies. The foundation of Bush’s Administration is a lie, starting with the notion that he became President in 2001 legitimately when in reality he was appointed President by the SCOTUS.

  • 2. Eli  |  July 12th, 2007 at 9:31 pm

    Yeah, I know they have a symbiotic relationship with al Qaeda. But the fact remains that they have cast themselves as The Great Terroristslayers, and have done precisely the opposite.

    My bet is that they’ll say al Qaeda’s resurgence is because those wimpy Democrats tied their hands and wouldn’t give them the unfettered spying and torture powers they really needed (never mind that they assumed them anyway…).

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