Archive for August 9th, 2007

Compassionate Conservatives?

The ONE Campaign offers up some very intriguing survey results:

*Nearly all Democrats (97%) and 70% of Republicans agree that America’s standing has suffered in recent years. In addition to a strong military, Democrats (91%) and Republicans (78%) agree that the United States also needs to improve diplomatic relations by doing more to help improve health, education and opportunities in the poorest countries around the world. Both Democrats (81%) and Republicans alike (70%) agree that reducing poverty, treating preventable diseases and improving education in poor countries around the world will help make the world safer and the United States more secure.

*Democrats and Republicans agree that America has a moral obligation as a compassionate nation to help the world’s poorest people through foreign assistance. More than nine in ten Democrats (93%) and 84% of Republicans agree that when millions of children around the world are dying from preventable diseases and hunger, we have a moral obligation to do what we can to help. Similarly, Democrats (90%) and Republicans (85%) agree that it is in keeping with the country’s values and our history of compassion to lead an effort to solve some of the most serious problems facing the world’s poorest people.

*When it comes to addressing these issues, Democrats (86%) and Republicans (67%) agree that it is important for Presidential candidates to discuss their plans for addressing global hunger and poverty issues in this campaign. Additionally, eight in ten Democrats (81%) and Republicans (80%) agree that the next president should keep the commitments made by President Bush to prevent and fight the spread of AIDS in Africa.

And here I thought it was all Republicans who hated poor people and foreign people, but apparently it’s just their political leadership. Maybe conservative Christians really have read the New Testament (Dobson, Perkins, et al. excepted, of course).

On the other hand, roughly 70% of Americans want us out of Iraq, and yet that somehow never gets translated into enough political will to get it done. I guess 70% of the voters isn’t enough to get you elected anymore.

August 9th, 2007 at 10:25pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Polls,Republicans

Great Moments In Republican Sex Offender History

Wow, I’m sorry I missed this on Tuesday:

Political Humpty Dumpty Syndrome appears to be claiming yet another career, and as usual it was transmitted through a self-induced case of foot-in-mouth disease. The latest victim is Allen, a Republican [State Representative] from Merritt Island, Fla., who last month got arrested for attempting to solicit oral sex from an undercover police officer in a public restroom. Yes, the police officer was a male, and yes, Allen has a long history of anti-gay legislation. But it was his quick-thinking attempts to explain himself that appear to be hastening his demise.

Recently released police tapes and documents indicate that Allen first attempted to avoid arrest by telling the officers he was a legislator. When that failed, he switched from intimidation to playing the race card with an excuse that would make even Wally Terzinsky cringe. In his statement Allen explained that Danny Kavanaugh, the Titusville police officer from whom he allegedly solicited sex, was a “pretty stocky black guy.” And because “there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” he became intimidated and did whatever he could to survive.

We’ve all been there, made so nervous by our racially diverse surroundings that we offer up 20 bucks to perform fellatio on the nearest person in a public bathroom. Still, as Allen maintained in his taped statement, the whole thing was a “bizarro world … misunderstanding.” Police, however, remained unconvinced — perhaps because, at least as Kavanaugh tells it, Allen repeatedly approached him. Either way, the seven-year representative has been charged him with solicitation of prostitution and forced to resign as co-chairman of Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign in Florida. He can also be added to the ever-growing number of pro-family conservatives embroiled in homosexual scandals.

…Not only was Allen’s voting record staunchly anti-gay, he also sponsored a bill last session to strengthen Florida’s laws against public sex, lewdness and indecency.

See, this is exactly why racially diverse communities are such a bad idea. It’s just too easy for unfortunate misunderstandings like this to occur.

August 9th, 2007 at 09:26pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Racism,Republicans,Wankers,Weirdness


Another Great Moment In Parsing, brought to you by our Commander-In-Chief:

President Bush said Thursday he can’t recall when he learned that Army Ranger Pat Tillman died by friendly fire, not at the hands of the enemy in Afghanistan, as the Pentagon originally claimed.

”I can’t give you the precise moment, but obviously the minute I heard that the facts that most people believed were true were not true, that I expect there to be a full investigation and get to the bottom of it,” Bush said in response to a question at a news conference.

Well, that’s an interesting choice of words. I can only assume that Dubya didn’t order an investigation because he just “expected” one to happen on its own.

And then there’s this gem:

”I can understand why Pat Tillman’s family, you know, has got significant emotions. A man they loved and respected was killed while he was serving his country,” Bush said.

”I always admired the fact that a person who was relatively comfortable in life would be willing to take off one uniform and put on another to defend America….”

Spoken by someone “relatively comfortable in life” who was not willing to put on a uniform and “defend” America in a war he supported, surrounded by a legion of “relatively comfortable” defenders who are almost all just as unwilling to don a uniform as he was, none of whom he has ever urged to serve.It may be admirable, but it is certainly not expected.

August 9th, 2007 at 08:50pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Wankers,War


Shorter Bush: Don’t waste taxpayer money on frivolous bridge repairs.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s a message that’ll go over real well. After all, everyone agrees that money could be much better spent prolonging the Iraqupation, which so close to victory we can taste it. Mmm… coppery.

August 9th, 2007 at 07:42pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Wankers

Shocking Diversity Revelation!

Homogeneous communities are more unified and harmonious than diverse ones! Alert the media!

Obviously the only practical solution to intolerance in this country is to ensure that the United States is comprised entirely of middle-aged, straight, white Christian males, and that they never, ever have to encounter anyone else. I guarantee you that racism, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia in America would be completely eradicated within 40-60 years… depending on advances in medical and cloning technology.

1 comment August 9th, 2007 at 06:51pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Racism

Keepin’ It 4Real

Babies I’m glad I’m not:

WELLINGTON (Reuters) – A New Zealand couple is looking to call their newborn son Superman — but only because their chosen name of 4Real has been rejected by the government registry.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton say they will get around the decision by the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages by officially naming their son Superman but referring to him as 4Real, the New Zealand Herald newspaper has reported.

The Wheatons decided on the name after seeing the baby for the first time in an ultrasound scan and realizing their baby was “for real.”


Pat Wheaton said he was considering appealing against the decision through the courts, but whatever happens he won’t be budged on his choice.

“No matter what its going to stay 4Real,” Wheaton told the Herald, “I’m certainly not a quitter.”

Damn straight, Pat. You stand up for your inalienable right to give your kid an incredibly stupid name that will make his life a living hell.

The NZ government’s official reason for rejecting the name was the presence of a numeric character. The unofficial reason was “What the hell is wrong with you people???”

The fact that the kid will be equally miserable with the name “Superman” is, I’m sure, small consolation for his parents.

In other batshit insane world news…

From The Netherlands:

A giant, smiling Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort on Tuesday.

Workers at a drinks stall rescued the 2.5-meter (8-foot) tall model with a yellow head and blue torso.

One witness said it came from the direction of the UK, so maybe it was attempting some variation of swimming the Channel? Obviously, an ambitious Lego man looking to make his mark would have to choose a much more challenging swim, to compensate for his tremendous natural buoyancy.

And in Moscow:

A crocodile survived a fall from the 12th floor of a Russian apartment block after making an escape bid through a window, emergency services said on Wednesday.

Diving out of the window has become a habit for the crocodile, called Khenar, with concerned neighbors saying it was the third time he had used that method to flee, Moskovsky Komsomolets daily reported.

The crocodile lost one tooth in the latest fall but was otherwise unscathed, said a spokeswoman for the emergencies ministry in the Nizhny Novgorod region of central Russia.

I’m a bit surprised that jumping out a 12th-story window apparently isn’t that big a deal for crocodiles – must be a carryover from their arboreal past.

Also, I have to admit to a nagging suspicion that perhaps this crocodile-as-house-pet living arrangement isn’t working out so well…

August 9th, 2007 at 05:39pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weirdness

They Ask Questions

Sidney Blumenthal has a lot of questions for Colin Powell.

I don’t think he’s going to get any answers.

August 9th, 2007 at 11:23am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Iraq,Republicans

Thursday B&W Tombstone Blogging

Some very old tombstones from Trinity Cemetery:

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4 comments August 9th, 2007 at 07:17am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: NJ/NYC,Photoblogging

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