Great Moments In Republican Sex Offender History

August 9th, 2007at 09:26pm Posted by Eli

Wow, I’m sorry I missed this on Tuesday:

Political Humpty Dumpty Syndrome appears to be claiming yet another career, and as usual it was transmitted through a self-induced case of foot-in-mouth disease. The latest victim is Allen, a Republican [State Representative] from Merritt Island, Fla., who last month got arrested for attempting to solicit oral sex from an undercover police officer in a public restroom. Yes, the police officer was a male, and yes, Allen has a long history of anti-gay legislation. But it was his quick-thinking attempts to explain himself that appear to be hastening his demise.

Recently released police tapes and documents indicate that Allen first attempted to avoid arrest by telling the officers he was a legislator. When that failed, he switched from intimidation to playing the race card with an excuse that would make even Wally Terzinsky cringe. In his statement Allen explained that Danny Kavanaugh, the Titusville police officer from whom he allegedly solicited sex, was a “pretty stocky black guy.” And because “there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” he became intimidated and did whatever he could to survive.

We’ve all been there, made so nervous by our racially diverse surroundings that we offer up 20 bucks to perform fellatio on the nearest person in a public bathroom. Still, as Allen maintained in his taped statement, the whole thing was a “bizarro world … misunderstanding.” Police, however, remained unconvinced — perhaps because, at least as Kavanaugh tells it, Allen repeatedly approached him. Either way, the seven-year representative has been charged him with solicitation of prostitution and forced to resign as co-chairman of Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign in Florida. He can also be added to the ever-growing number of pro-family conservatives embroiled in homosexual scandals.

…Not only was Allen’s voting record staunchly anti-gay, he also sponsored a bill last session to strengthen Florida’s laws against public sex, lewdness and indecency.

See, this is exactly why racially diverse communities are such a bad idea. It’s just too easy for unfortunate misunderstandings like this to occur.

Entry Filed under: Racism,Republicans,Wankers,Weirdness

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