Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

4 comments August 22nd, 2007at 11:48am Posted by Eli

This week, the WWN reports on the ultimate in romance:

English entrepreneur William Boughton has undertaken a bold enterprise that will interest newlyweds with lots of cash.

“It occurred to me that if married couples began their union by sharing something truly out of this world, it might hold them together through rough times,” said the billionaire. “The honeymoon is the perfect occasion to form that bond. That’s why I’m working on sending newlywed couples on a trip they’ll never forget.

“To the moon!”

For the past two years, Boughton’s Vestal Enterprises has been constructing a state-of-the-art space cruiser that will be making round trips to the moon by 2010.

The Honeymooner will seat ten couples in specially designed love seats,” smiled Boughton. “I’m working hard to keep the cost of the trip down. Tickets will be one million dollars for each couple. That’s relatively cheap for space travel. I hope to make up for the cost of the project by never having down time.”

Boughton’s plan is to have The Honeymooner land on the moon and allow the husbands and wives to experience the breathtaking views and one-sixth gravity for the day. “I’m guessing there is nothing more romantic than watching an earthrise.

“We’ve designed space suits that will allow them to venture onto the lunar surface, though those will cost another half-million each,” he added. “The insurance liability for that activity is astronomical. The good news is they will be able to enjoy a picnic on the lunar surface.

“The challenge was finding a way for them to feed themselves without being exposed to space. The solution was steamed vegetables pumped into their oxygen supply. And by that I mean vegetables that have been reduced to steam. It’s not exactly a picnic basket, but the good news is – no ants.”

Now if he could just figure out how to steam potato salad and chicken…

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

4 Comments

  • 1. Silleigh  |  August 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    I blame Eli. (Mmm, feels good to get back to blaming Eli for something, anything really.) It’s your fault I began to love the WWN, only to have it go away. Care to recommend any new periodicals I might enjoy, especially ones that are about to be ripped cruelly right from under my nose? ‘Cuz you know it’s all about the magazine masochism.

  • 2. Eli  |  August 23rd, 2007 at 7:37 am

    Hiya, Sill! I think the Sun is kinda like a color version of the Weekly World News, but it’s admittedly been kind of a while since I paid attention.

    And besides, the online WWN isn’t going anywhere, at least not yet.

  • 3. Silleigh  |  August 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 am

    I didn’t realize the intarwebs content wasn’t going away. Darn my dead-tree mentality. Thanks, I feel better now.

    And the stairs and the clouds are gorgeous. You MUST come hang out in Florida (at some sane time of year, NOT NOW) and photograph clouds. We have amazing cloudy goodness. No cool architecture, but everything above the rooftops is lovely. (Pardon if this posts twice, my browser DOES NOT WANT.)

  • 4. Eli  |  August 23rd, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    Thanks, Sill!

    I have been to Florida many times (my grandmother used to winter there), but not for a long time, and definitely not since I caught the photo bug (I took a buncha instamatic pictures at SeaWorld and Kennedy Space Center when I was a kid, and that’s about it).


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