Death By Moral Values

4 comments October 9th, 2007at 06:07pm Posted by Eli

Via Paddy, this is just bizarre:

OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.

Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs.

What makes this especially worthy of note aside from the surreal weirdness:

Gary Aldridge graduated from Liberty University and later worked for the late Jerry Falwell.

At the risk of speaking ill of the dead, this points up one of the most striking things about all the fundies and social conservatives who keep their, ah, less-than-mainstream sexual proclivities under wraps: They’re spectacularly incompetent at them. Then again, I suppose the incompetent ones are the only ones we hear about.

This should put to rest any whispers that Dubya might be gay. If that were true, he would undoubtedly have killed, incapacitated or incarcerated himself by now. I think it more likely that he’s simply asexual, like a garden gnome. A spiteful, nasty, mean-spirited garden gnome.

Entry Filed under: Politics,Religion,Republicans,Weirdness

4 Comments

  • 1. Glenn  |  October 9th, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Gross …

  • 2. JohnDWoodSr  |  October 9th, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    Apparently, everything was going “swimmingly”, until something went very, very wrong. There are many paths to Heaven–I guess one of them was by water.

  • 3. Mr. George  |  November 19th, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    I knew Gary Aldridge and he was like a brother to me.

    Apparently no one knows how to propertly do a little research on this case and to tell the WHOLE TRUTH….

    Gary recently received an estate from his parents; some estimate it worth over an million $.

    His elder brother Jack was cut out of the estate.

    Jealously does weird things to people and many a person has been killed over revenge and jealousy.

    It would be VERY EASY for a professional to stage someone’s death if paid enough money and make it look like a sexual kinky scene gone bad….

    How convienent that the body was quickly cremated…and I suppose all the evidence destroyed by now….

    And can police and even an MD doing an autopsy be paid off….you becha.

    Apologies are in order here. Open up the investigation….someone should!!

  • 4. Captain Janeway  |  December 29th, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    No dice Mr. George! It is strongly implied in several articles that the FBI was called in to investigate. (aka. “out of state agency”). Oh yeah, I’m sure Brother Hicky McHick Jack could outsmart the g-man. Laughable! Also receipts were found showing the reverend had purchased his “swimwear”.


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