Archive for November 28th, 2007

Wankers Of The Day

CNN:

CNN and YouTube billed tonight’s Republican debate as one in which “YOU ask the questions of the candidates through videos you submit on YouTube.” After the Democratic debate in July with the same format, Steve Grove, YouTube’s news and politics editor, said the debate was “more democratic than ever.”

Out of almost 5,000 video submissions, CNN chose to pose a couple dozen to the candidates tonight. Instead of alloting all slots to ordinary citizens – who don’t normally have access to politicians – CNN gave airtime to a question from Americans for Tax Reform president Grover Norquist….

Norquist is a powerful right-wing Washington insider, with no shortage of access to the candidates. He was deeply involved in the unethical and secretive K Street Project, which helped foster the culture of corruption in Washington, and was close friends with fallen lobbyist Jack Abramoff. In July, he received an exclusive meeting with Karl Rove to discuss the administration’s Iraq policies.

Ironically, Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) also submitted a YouTube question. Yet CNN rejected it, arguing that he “has regular access to politicians.”

There is no way Crist has anywhere near as much access as Norquist.

This is, of course, not the first time that CNN have been total wankers and peed all over the presidential debates…

UPDATE: It’s even worse than I thought.

November 28th, 2007 at 10:00pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Further Proof That Rudy Is The Perfect Nominee

He’s got the stonewalling strategery down pat:

As New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani billed obscure city agencies for tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses amassed during the time when he was beginning an extramarital relationship with future wife Judith Nathan in the Hamptons, according to previously undisclosed government records.

The documents, obtained by Politico under New York’s Freedom of Information Law, show that the mayoral costs had nothing to do with the functions of the little-known city offices that defrayed his tabs, including agencies responsible for regulating loft apartments, aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.

At the time, the mayor’s office refused to explain the accounting to city auditors, citing “security.”

See? Even if it makes no sense at all, just say you can’t comment on it because the terrorists would win. Here is a leader with the strength to invoke “state secrets” or “executive privilege” without batting an eyelash, which is just what the Republicans are looking for.

Rudy certainly is building a compelling case for himself as Dubya’s Mini-Me.

November 28th, 2007 at 08:46pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Elections,Politics,Republicans,Rudy

Dancing With The Stars Is Totally Rigged

Helio Castroneves and his alien ringer

Okay, I admit I haven’t been following Dancing With The Stars real closely, because, well, it’s a reality show, but…

Is it just me, or did they give Helio Castroneves an unfair advantage by pairing him with a three-legged woman? I mean, that’s a 25% edge over all the other teams right out of the gate, and that’s not even counting Heather Mills.

I expect the Celebrity Dancing Commissioner to make a full inquiry into any possible irregularities that may have occurred here, or else I shall be forced to send him a very strongly worded letter.

2 comments November 28th, 2007 at 11:50am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: TV,Weirdness

I Can Has Legacy?

Well, as usual, today’s MoDo column makes me cringe rather a lot. What’s not so usual is that it’s not MoDo that’s making me cringe:

Condi doesn’t want to be Iraq.

She wants to be a Palestinian state. It has a far more hopeful ring to it, legacy-wise.

The Most Powerful Woman in the History of the World, as President Bush calls her, is a very orderly person.

Like her boss, she loves schedules and routines and hates disruptions. As a child, she was elected “president” of her family, a position that allowed her to dictate the organizational details of family trips, according to “Condoleezza Rice: An American Life,” a new biography by The Times’s Elisabeth Bumiller.

Okay, stop right there. Liz Bumiller??? Liz Bumiller, the NYT’s designated White House puff-piece machine, the one who wrote “stories” on Dubya’s iPod and his fondness for ice cream? Oh yeah, I’ll be running right out and buying that book; it’s sure to be just jam-packed with insight and analysis. (As an aside, what do you want to bet that Liz suddenly morphs into a hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners journalist about a minute after a Democratic president is inaugurated?)

W. couldn’t be bothered to stay in Annapolis and try to belatedly push things along and guide Israel with a firmer hand.

After subverting diplomacy in his first term, now W. does drive-by diplomacy, taking a playboy approach to peace. He wants to look like he’s taking the problem of an Israeli-Palestinian treaty seriously when his true motivation is more cynical: pacifying the Arab coalition and holding it together so that he can blunt Iran’s sway.

When they invaded Iraq rather than working on the Palestine problem, W. and Condi helped spur the greater Iranian influence, Islamic extremism and anti-American sentiment that they are now desperately trying to quell.

(…)

The tight-as-a-tick team of W. and Condi have been consistently culturally obtuse on the Middle East, even with a pricey worldwide operation designed to keep them in the loop.

First, Condi missed the scorching significance of the August 2001 presidential daily brief headlined “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” “An explosive title on a nonexplosive piece,” as she later dismissively described it.

Then she and W. failed to fathom that if Iraq went wrong, Iran would benefit.

When Brent Scowcroft, who lured the young Soviet expert from Stanford to the Bush 1 national security staff, wrote a Wall Street Journal piece before the Iraq war titled “Don’t Attack Saddam,” she didn’t call him to explore his reasoning. She scolded him for publicly disagreeing with W. Scowcroft confided to friends that he was mystified by Rice. She enabled Bush’s bellicosity rather than putting a brake on it.

“He told me several times, ‘I don’t understand how my lady, my baby, my disciple, has changed so much,’ ” a senior European diplomat told Bumiller.

Um. Granted, that’s filtered through the diplomat and then through Bumiller, but that’s kind of a creepy quote.

Condi and W. were both underwhelmed by the C.I.A.’s presentation of its case on Iraq’s W.M.D.’s on Dec. 21, 2002. Yet, only days later, Bumiller reports, Rice and W. were alone in the Oval Office when he surprised her by asking her point blank about the war: “Do you think we should do this?”

“Yes,” she told the president.

That’s not statesmanship. It’s sycophancy.

(…)

[I]n another instance of spectacular willful ignorance, she was blindsided by the Hamas win in the Palestinian elections.

As she described it to Bumiller, she went upstairs at 5 a.m. the morning after the Palestinian elections in 2006 to the gym in her Watergate apartment to exercise on her elliptical machine. She saw the news crawl reporting the Hamas victory.

“I thought, ‘Well, that’s not right,’ ” she said. She kept exercising for awhile but finally got off the elliptical trainer and called the State Department. “I said, ‘What happened in the Palestinian elections?’ and they said, ‘Oh, Hamas won.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my goodness! Hamas won?’ ”

When she couldn’t reach the State Department official on the ground in the Palestinian territories, she did what any loyal Bushie would do: She got back on the elliptical.

“I thought, might as well finish exercising,” Rice told Bumiller. “It’s going to be a really long day.” It was one of the few times she was prescient on the Middle East.

It never ceases to amaze me just how detached an unengaged these people are. It’s like nothing is ever important enough to demand swift, decisive action and undivided personal attention. And it doesn’t even occur to them that there might be something wrong with this approach – Condi probably thought this was a brilliant anecdote when she told it to Bumiller.

Yeah, Annapolis is going to be a huge success with Condi at the helm. Maybe she’ll take Olmert and Abbas shoe shopping.

November 28th, 2007 at 11:14am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Iraq,Media,Republicans,War

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Even space aliens have standards:

(By Nick Jeffries)

Wild-child socialite Paris Hilton was abducted by aliens – and five minutes later, they opened the spaceship door and kicked her out.

Or at least that’s the word from a researcher who claims a ticked off ET made an irate phone call to the UFOs Reach Earth Americans Line (U-FO-REAL).

(…)

[U-FO-REAL operator Dieter] Vanderhorn says an entity who identified himself as “Vortox from the planet Runyon” told him he had just dumped Paris in a nearby field and asked him how humans could worship such a shameless, couture-wearing egomaniac who thinks she’s “the cosmic consciousness’ gift to all sentient life-forms.”

(…)

“Vortox said: ‘As soon as we beamed the Earth woman you call Paris Hilton onto our ship she began criticizing our wardrobes, hairstyles, and makeup. My wife Vizbin is the personal stylist for everyone on this ship and suffered emotional injury,’ ” related Vanderhorn.

“Then Paris insisted she would sing for us. She opened her mouth and emitted the most horrible screeching cacophony I have ever heard. I was forced to cover my antennae and recite the Intergalactic Federation’s Pledge of Brotherhood until it stopped.

“We wanted to question this Paris about her life on Earth, but all she did was smile and pretend to pose for paparazzi pictures until I was tempted to set my proton blaster to ‘annihilate’ and and send her disassembled atoms hurtling into the void.

“As if that weren’t enough, she spoke of all the Earth parties she has attended and started listing every pair of designer shoes she owns. It was so many that I fear I regurgitated a bit in several of my orifices.

“When she began extolling the apparently infinite perfection of her flawless no-tan-lines body, it was all I could do not to turn the proton blaster upon myself. Just as she began to describe her daily beauty routine, I opened the vacu-door and shoved her out.”

I think the date of official First Contact has just been set back by at least a hundred years.

1 comment November 28th, 2007 at 07:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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