I, For One, Welcome Our Impartial Robot Overlords

November 15th, 2007at 10:12pm Posted by Eli


How bad could it be?

Kung Fu Monkey’s friend Tyrone makes a good point:

John: … No.
Tyrone: Listen, all I’m asking is that you give the idea a decent —
John: Robot overlords. You are “pro-robot overlords”.
Tyrone: They bring world peace, universal health care —
John: At the cost of our freedoms!
Tyrone: MY POINT EXACTLY. We’re already giving up our freedoms — our right to privacy, gone. Warrantless arrest, gone. Right to have your vote counted is super-gone depending on the state you live in, right to stand trial, gone — we have torture. We already have all the downsides of a supposed robotic takeover, but we’re being cheated of the upside! I say, if this is the world we’re gonna live in anyway, at least let the robot overlords have their shot. World peace, technological utopia — and no crime! The robot overlords’ crime control is swift and merciless.

(…)

Tyrone: Sure, the robots rend criminals with horrible tearing jaws. But if you’re telling me they eat white and black criminals equally
John: I get it.
Tyrone: They use that as a selling point, the robot overlords will be ass-deep in brothers with oil cans and subpoenas.
John:
Tyrone: Robot overlords don’t give Scooter Libby pardons. No rich man can bribe his way out of the robot overlord court. You telling me you don’t want to see the robot overlords kick in Dick Cheney’s door —
John: I would buy that DVD. The two disc box set, with robot overlord commentary.

(…)

John: …But look,the Democrats won in 2006!
Tyrone: Suuuuuuuure they did.
John: What are you — Congress changed parties! We took over!
Tyrone: Absolutely. Remember when the Democratic Congress ended the war?
John: Ummm …
Tyrone: How about when they changed the Bankruptcy Bill, so middle class people didn’t get reamed. When they passed that children’s health care plan over the lame duck president’s veto. Or when they finally reclaimed America’s moral high ground when they bravely stopped the approval of an Attorney General who thought waterboarding was a grey area. When they shut down Gitmo …

Even without their obvious ability to influence voting machines, I’m pretty sure the robot overlords would totally split the conservative vote.

Entry Filed under: Bush,Cheney,Constitution,Corruption/Cronyism,Politics,Republicans


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