Archive for January 7th, 2008

The Trouble With Tasers

Thank God, someone has finally recognized and corrected the taser’s fatal flaw:

A handy new holster from Taser International Inc. holds not only your stun gun but a music player too.

Taser’s latest foray into consumer products was introduced Monday at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. The holster costs $72.99 on the company’s Web site and includes a 1-gigabyte MP3 player.

The company, which also sells its electronic weapons to law enforcement agencies and the military, has been stepping up its consumer product offerings with Tasers in new colors like ”red-hot” and ”fashion pink.”

The latest Taser — in a leopard print and costing $379.99 — ”provides a personal protection option for women who want fashion with a bite,” said Chief Executive Rick Smith.

Yes, that’s right: The taser needed to be more stylish and fun. Just think of the compliments and admiring looks your sexy new leopard print taser will garner in between agonized screams! And if you get tired of the screams, well you can just tune them right out with that nifty MP3-playing holster! Awesome!

I predict that next year they will partner up with a cellphone company to develop the Motorola TAZR – zap ’em and then call the cops with the same convenient device!

3 comments January 7th, 2008 at 06:59pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Technology,Torture,Wankers

Obsessive Fan Mindset


(from xkcd, where the alt text reveals that Ron Paul wants to put the New Republic back on the Corusca gem standard.)

January 7th, 2008 at 06:20pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Comics,Ron Paul

Revenge Of The Grade Schoolers

One final thought on the great Sarge/Oily/Beagle Eyes/Carrot Face debate post:

It’s the revenge of the grade schoolers. Republicans attacked a 12-year-old on SCHIP, and now they get ridiculed and belittled by a 9-year-old. It’s karma, baby.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:54am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,Politics,Republicans

If You Like Dubya’s Vindictive Petulance, You’ll Love Rudy!

Today’s NY Daily News on the charming ray of sunshine that is Rudy “Carrot Face” Giuliani:

Rudy Giuliani better keep wearing his happy face this week in New Hampshire. The sky is darkening with old New York foes who are only too willing to tell Americans about our former mayor’s dark side.

Quite a few of them share their memories of his “petty, vindictive, small-minded maneuvering” in “An Oral History of Rudy Giuliani’s Temper,” due out in GQ’s February issue.

Former United Nations Assistant Secretary General Gillian Sorensen remembers being backstage with Giuliani in 1995 when the New York Philharmonic performed a concert marking the UN’s 50th anniversary.

“Suddenly, the mayor saw Yasser Arafat in the audience,” says Sorensen. “The mayor went ballistic. He totally exploded. He turned red in the face, he started waving his arms, he yelled at his trembling aide [Randy Mastro] as if he were a worm, he yelled at me. … He jumped up and down.”

Giuliani ordered that Arafat, an invited dignitary, be removed.

Newly elected Public Advocate Mark Green recalls making a short speech on inauguaration day in which “I just talked about how I wanted to help everyone in the city prosper. … Within a day, [Rudy’s] chief deputy called me and said, ‘Mark, the mayor didn’t like your speech.’ … Apparently … because [it] sounded ‘mayoral.’ I said, ‘Well, I don’t work for the mayor.'” Green says Giuliani later tried to cut his office’s budget by a third.

Former Office of Emergency Management Director Jerry Hauer says that, in 2001, “the minute I endorsed Mark Green [for mayor], some detective took away my credentials to Ground Zero. [Rudy] threw his hissy fit. He’s got such a frail ego. … He said, ‘If you [endorse Green], you’re done.’ Within an hour, two of his aides were calling the press, talking about how I was gone.”

Retired NYPD Chief Louis Anemone says Giuliani “looks for unnecessary confrontations.” Anemone is among those who say Giuliani was jealous when Time magazine put former Police Commissioner Bill Bratton on its cover, crediting him with the city’s crime drop.

“[Giuliani] searched for reasons to get rid of [Bratton] … to look at the fact that Bratton accepted a plane ride,” says Anemone.

Former Mayor Ed Koch remembers, “I got a call from Giuliani during the gubernatorial election between Pataki and Cuomo. I had been on the radio criticizing [Giuliani’s] administration for taking down Pataki’s placards [but not those of Giuliani-backed Mario Cuomo‘s].… Rudy [calls and said]: ‘Ed, you’re all wrong about the placards. It’s against the law’ … I said, ‘Rudy, I know it’s against the law. I’m the one who initiated that law.’ … He says, ‘Don’t interrupt me.’ I thought, who does he think he is? So I took the phone and I put it in the crook of my arm, and I started to do other things that i needed to do.”

Rep. Charlie Rangel offers that “the best contribution that Giuliani ever made to the African-American community is just not meeting with them.”

First Amendment lawyer Floyd Abrams allows that he recently spoke to a “very conservative former federal prosecutor,” who said he wasn’t surprised that Giuliani was doing well in the ’08 White House race because “he was a good candidate.”

“‘Are you supporting him?'” Abrams asked the former prosecutor. “[He] said, ‘Well, no. I know him.'”

It’s so hard to choose between the Republican nominees. They all sound like such awesome great guys.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:22am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Elections,Republicans,Rudy,Wankers

Monday Media Blogging

Mark Twain and his young friends meet a strange person. Could it be… Satan?

1 comment January 7th, 2008 at 07:10am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

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