Multi Medium

Spam The Monkey Tonight

January 9th, 2008at 10:05pm Posted by Eli

I have quite a spam backlog to get through, so let’s get cracking.

First up, a couple of succinct, cryptic, and lewd spam e-mails I received at work:

Subject: BodypartMonsterJennifer

SpaciousPenisCecilia

Hey, I’m pretty sure that was a SpaciousPenisSimon & Garfunkel song! (SpaciousPenisCecilia, you’re breakin’ my heart, you’re shakin’ my confidence daily…)

Subject: CarlaCapaciousPhallus

ThanhFuckstickBouffant

I don’t even want to try to imagine what that might mean. Also, I have to assume CarlaCapaciousPhallus is related to SpaciousPenisCecilia, right? I mean, what are the odds?

Continuing the minimalist theme…

Subject: convenient

albania

I’m a little bit hazy on just what it is I’m meant to buy here. Is Albania for sale, perhaps? Maybe the entire country is now a miraculous weight-loss cure or breast/penile enhancer! Certainly not what I’d call “convenient,” though.

Getting a little bit less minimalist - some of these titles are downright elaborate.

Subject: ostensibly particle accelerator

abound almost cantankerous… wily

“Wily” is on the other side of the attached graphic from the rest - a bold and evocative design move.

Subject: He opened his mouth wider-and that thick invisible jelly oozed in, forcing his jaws apart until they creaked in his ears.

Hell, with a title like that, who needs an actual message?

Finally, a few samples of the ever-popular comment spam - I’ll just run them together into one glorious parade of gibberish:

zoilean discontiguous oxreim terebinth semiellipsoidal praeneural circumradius oolite

biform monosymmetry postinfective perodipus premorning sickled agaricales aramu

Pavlovian unwiser Boone Cadillacs Mexicanizes …

The comment spam never disappoints, and is totally amazing for your vocabulary.

Entry Filed under: Spamoptikon