Archive for February 22nd, 2008

Vagina Couch!!!

Or would it be more of a loveseat?



Hey, I just report on it. What you do with the information is up to you.

(h/t to The Shadowy & Mysterious Codename V.)

February 22nd, 2008 at 11:03pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Weirdness

I Was Tortured By The Pygmy Love Queen

Surely the greatest book ever written.

They may not leap off the shelves into the best-seller category, but the books shortlisted for the oddest book title prize certainly grab the attention.

“I was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen” recounts the tale of a fictional U.S. World War Two fighter pilot who is captured by jungle pygmies led by a sadistic woman.

Its sequel, which is not on the shortlist released by trade publication The Bookseller ( Friday, needs no explanation: “Go Ahead, Woman, Do Your Worst.”

“How to Write a How to Write Book” and “Cheese Problems Solved” are likewise self-explanatory as is the equally eclectic niche tome “People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr. Feelgood” that strives to put the English east coast resort on the map.

While none of the above may challenge the sensibilities too much, others are likely to prove more divisive. Try “If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs” or “Are Women Human? And other International Dialogues.”

“I confess: I have been anxious that as publishing becomes ever more corporate, the trade’s quirky charms are being squeezed out,” said Horace Bent, The Bookseller diarist and custodian of the prize.


Bent paid tribute to those books that failed to make the list, including titles such as “Drawing and Painting the Undead” and “Glory Remembered: Wooden Headgear of Alaska Sea Hunters,” wishing them better luck next year.

Any list that “Drawing and Painting the Undead” and “Glory Remembered: Wooden Headgear of Alaska Sea Hunters” can’t crack, is one exclusive list.

February 22nd, 2008 at 10:28pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Books,Coolness,Weirdness

Great Moments In Chutzpah

No, really – I could not make this up:

On the February 22 edition of MSNBC Live, conservative radio host and columnist Armstrong Williams said of a February 21 New York Times article about Sen. John McCain’s relationship with a telecommunications lobbyist, “I think what it does more than anything else, it causes those of us in the media to lose credibility. People begin to question what we print, whether there’s any truth to it, whether we do our research.” But Williams himself has been embroiled in controversy that undermined his “credibility.” In January 2005, USA Today reported that Williams received $240,000 from the Bush administration in December 2003 to promote President Bush’s No Child Left Behind legislation “on his nationally syndicated television show and to urge other black journalists to do the same.”

Brilliant. Armstrong Williams has big brass ones.

February 22nd, 2008 at 09:11pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,McCain,Media,Republicans

The Burning Question We’re All Dying To Ask

Will Katherine Harris be allowed conjugal visits?

February 22nd, 2008 at 06:15pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Republicans

Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

This week’s quote is from a very surreal anime called Paprika:

If you’re unhappy, please put a vote in this eyeball.

I hear tell that Obama is winning the all-important eyeball primary.

And, of course, there’ll be other people’s cats….

Michi Who Must Be Obeyed.

February 22nd, 2008 at 07:08am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

Wednesday (belated) Surrogate Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

(brought to you by Alicia Morgan at Last Left Turn Before Hooterville)
The Lost Continent of Atlantis Has Been Found – and it’s the Answer to the Sub-Prime Mortgage Crisis!

DUBUQUE, Iowa — In an astounding discovery, a scientist has announced the most amazing archaeological find of the twenty-first century – the Lost Continent of Atlantis!

Dr. Oliver Icklemyer, an archaeologist at the University of Phoenix, unveiled his astonishing news at a recent press conference in Dubuque, Iowa. First mentioned by Plato in Timaeus around 360 B.C., Atlantis was a magnificent continent-sized island empire which was destroyed in 9000 B.C. in the span of 24 hours by earthquakes and floods, and was subsequently lost in the bottom of the ocean, its advanced civilization lost forever – or so it has been believed. For centuries the location of the fabled Atlantis has been hotly debated, but Dr. Icklemyer has stunned experts by claiming that Atlantis is actually about half a mile out from the Jersey Shore.

“It stands to reason,” the professor modestly explained. “When I connected the dots – ‘Atlantic Ocean’, ‘Atlantic City’, ‘Atlantis’ – it all fell into place.”

And now, the Lost Continent of Atlantis has not only been discovered, but will soon be inhabited once again for the first time in eleven thousand years – by the victims of the Sub-Prime Mortgage Crisis!

The White House is hailing this as a ‘win-win’. A spokesman for the Administration is quoted as saying, “This is a red-letter day for the Americans who have lost their homes due to fraudulent and deceptive marketing practices by banks and mortgage brokers. Each and every family that has been bilked out of their house will receive, practically free of charge, a beautiful 1/16-acre plot in the exclusive Atlantis: Phase II ‘lifestyle community’ subdivision – and an air tank for each member of the family! Every home is equipped with running water. There are recreational activities galore, including fishing and swimming.”

Already real-estate developers are scrambling to get first dibs on this remarkable bonanza of untapped investment potential. An unnamed real-estate mogul calls it the real ‘final frontier’, saying, “Space, shmace! That’s so last century! You wanna talk about your ‘Manifest Destiny’ – this is it, baby!” He plans on changing the name to ‘Trump-lantis’.

In a statement to the Weekly World News, the President’s mother Barbara Bush notes,”And so many of the people in Atlantis here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this–this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.”

1 comment February 22nd, 2008 at 12:22am Posted by Alicia

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

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