Dude, You’re Already In The Ditch.

2 comments March 16th, 2008at 04:35pm Posted by Eli

Amazing. MoDo is actually bashing Dubya instead of Hillary or Obama. Too bad she totally ripped off Gail Collins.

Everyone here is flummoxed about why the president is in such a fine mood.

The dollar’s crumpling, the recession’s thundering, the Dow’s bungee-jumping and the world’s disapproving, yet George Bush has turned into Gene Kelly, tap dancing and singing in a one-man review called “The Most Happy Fella.”

“I’m coming to you as an optimistic fellow,” he told the Economic Club of New York on Friday. His manner — chortling and joshing — was in odd juxtaposition to the Fed’s bailing out the imploding Bear Stearns and his own acknowledgment that “our economy obviously is going through a tough time,” that gas prices are spiking, and that folks “are concerned about making their bills.”

He began by laughingly calling the latest news on the economic meltdown “a interesting moment” and ended by saying that “our energy policy has not been very wise” and that there was “no quick fix” on gasp-inducing gas prices.

“You know, I guess the best way to describe government policy is like a person trying to drive a car in a rough patch,” he said. “If you ever get stuck in a situation like that, you know full well it’s important not to overcorrect, because when you overcorrect you end up in the ditch.”

Dude, you’re already in the ditch.

Boy George crashed the family station wagon into the globe and now the global economy. Yet the more terrified Americans get, the more bizarrely carefree he seems. The former oilman reacted with cocky ignorance a couple of weeks ago when a reporter informed him that gas was barreling toward $4 a gallon.

In on-the-record sessions with reporters — and more candid off-the-record ones — he has seemed goofily happy in recent weeks, prickly no more but strangely liberated and ebullient.

Even though he ordinarily hates being kept waiting, he made light of it while cooling his heels for John McCain, and did a soft shoe for the White House press. Wearing a cowboy hat, he warbled a comic Western ditty at the Gridiron Dinner a week ago — alluding to Scooter Libby’s conviction, Saudis getting richer from our oil-guzzling, Brownie’s dismal Katrina performance, and Dick Cheney’s winsome habit of withholding documents.

At a dinner on Wednesday, the man who is persona non grata on the campaign trail (except for closed fund-raisers) told morose Republican members of Congress that he was totally confident that “we can retake the House” and “hold the White House.”

“I think 2008 is going to be a fabulous year for the Republican Party!” he said, sounding like Rachael Ray sprinkling paprika on goulash….


Maybe the president is just putting on a good face to keep up American morale, the way Herbert Hoover did after the crash of ’29, when he continued to dress in a tuxedo for dinner.

Or maybe the old Andover cheerleader really believes his own cheers, and that prosperity will turn up any time now, just like the W.M.D. in Iraq.

Or perhaps it’s a Freudian trip. Now that he’s mucked up the world and the country, he can finally stop rebelling against his dad and relax in the certainty that the Bush name will forever be associated with crash-and-burn presidencies.

Or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit. We know he couldn’t care less about the country’s well-being, and I think the hard work of presidenting and the embarrassment of public scrutiny and criticism has gotten old. He can’t wait to kick back and start cashing in on his President Emeritus status, where he’ll rake in hefty speaking fees and bask in the adulation of the loyal 20-percenters.

I’d love to think that he’ll be too busy fighting lawsuits and ongoing congressional investigations to enjoy his retirement, but I know better.

Entry Filed under: Bush,Economy,Media


  • 1. PoliShifter  |  March 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    He’s beyond the ditch…

    it’s like one of those movies where the dude is heading for the cliff and he bails out of the car just as the car goes over the edge.

    It bash bang booms down the hill before for settling with tires still spinning.

    There’ a pregnant pause and then ‘kaboom!’ as it blows to smithereens.

    We’re at the ‘kaboom!’ stage with Bush looking down the cliff at the economy he wrecked scratching his head while dreaming of his ranch in Paraguay and vacation home on one of those man made Islands in Dubai.

    Let’s face it Bush wil be ok.

    An asteroid could strike the earth wiping out 3/4’s of life and Bush along with Cheney would STILL manage to live comfortably for several years.

    They have not a care in the world.

    I hear they are invested wisely overseas as well. Cheney bought European bonds in anticipation of a meltdown in the U.S.

    I bet both are out of dollars and into Euros and other strong foreign currencies as well.

  • 2. Eli  |  March 17th, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    I think Dubya’s attitude, and possibly entire life philosophy, can be summed up in three little words:

    “Not my problem.”

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