Archive for April 23rd, 2008

Irony Of The Week

In case you were wondering why the GOP isn’t making a big deal about Obama’s connection to Tony Rezko…

With federal investigators closing in, Illinois political insiders hoped to avoid prison by having Bush administration architect Karl Rove oust U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, according to accusations made in federal court today.

An attorney for Rove and the Republican insider accused of leaning on him, Bob Kjellander, flatly denied the accusations this afternoon.

The U.S. attorney’s office in Chicago dropped the bombshell allegations as part of the federal corruption trial against Antoin “Tony” Rezko, a former Gov. Rod Blagojevich fundraiser and confidant.

Federal prosecutors say two witnesses could testify that they were told by two separate people close to Kjellander that he was working to get Fitzgerald removed by leaning on Rove, his old friend.

The power play was allegedly plotted before Fitzgerald received a questionably low ranking by the Bush Administration and the controversial ousting of eight U.S. Attorneys.

The first hints of the far-reaching accusations came out in court late Tuesday when Assistant U.S. Attorney Carrie Hamilton read the grand jury statements of Steven Loren, a co-schemer in the Rezko case.

Veteran insider Bill Cellini “said it was Bob Kjellander’s job to take care of the U.S. Attorney,” Hamilton read from the transcript, which recounted a 2004 meeting between Cellini and Loren over how to handle the deepening federal probe.


…Hamilton… said Rezko business partner Ali Ata is expected to testify Rezko told him the same thing in 2004.

“Mr. Kjellander is working with Mr. Rove to have Mr. Fitzgerald removed so someone else can come in (and end the corruption investigation),” Hamilton said in summarizing Ata’s expected testimony about Rezko’s statements.


Kjellander, an Illinois lobbyist, is a national Republican party player who recently served as treasurer to the Republican National Committee. He has been friends with Rove since the early 1970s when the two got their start in politics while still in college.

Kjellander helped orchestrate George Bush’s Midwest campaigns.


In late 2004, Fitzgerald was also the special prosecutor probing the Valerie Plame leak in which White House officials were accused of illegally disclosing her CIA identity in retribution for her husband’s opposition to the Iraq war.

Rove was questioned in that case. The investigation ultimately ended in the conviction of Dick Cheney aide Scooter Libby for perjury.

In 2005, the Bush administration ranked Fitzgerald as one of several U.S. attorneys who did “not distinguish themselves” – at the same time he was pursuing landmark cases covering Plame, the Chicago Outfit and former Republican Gov. George Ryan as well as the administrations of Blagojevich, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and Cook County President John Stroger.

The rankings later evolved into the notable ousting of eight U.S. attorneys in 2006, a move that was widely criticized as being politically motivated. Two of those attorneys fired were given the same ranking as Fitzgerald.


Blagojevich spokeswoman Abby Ottenoff said the governor was unaware of any moves to oust Fitzgerald.

This is rich.  Rove and the Republicans actually tried to sabotage the case that would have otherwise been the centerpiece of their campaign against Obama.  Of course, they didn’t know that at the time – they were just reflexively gaming the system to defend Republican criminals, like they always do.  But now they can’t draw too much attention to Rezko, lest they draw attention to Rove’s involvement, and to the US Attorney firings.  Even so, Obama should have a good strategy to bring the pain if the Republicans do come after him on Rezko.

But he’d better be careful – being tied to Rove is the worst thing that could happen to him.

(For the record, I think the Obama-Rezko connection is tenuous, and it’s a manufactured scandal – but that doesn’t mean the Republicans wouldn’t have made a big deal about it.  Quite the contrary.)

(h/t Twolf)

3 comments April 23rd, 2008 at 08:30pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Elections,McCain,Obama,Politics,Republicans,Rove

That Hagee Endorsement Is Working Out Very Well For Him.

Yeah, getting that Hagee endorsement sure was a coup for John McCain:

On his radio show yesterday, right-wing talker Dennis Prager asked Hagee to respond to “the various charges made against him” in a fact sheet put out by the Democratic National Committee. Asked about his comments on Hurricane Katrina, Hagee said “the topic of that day was cursing and blessing”:


PRAGER: Now, they have you on Hurricane Katrina, quote, from NPR two double-o six: “All hurricanes are acts of God because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that.” Go ahead.

HAGEE: Yes. The topic of that day was cursing and blessing. Moses taught in the book of Deuteronomy that everything in life is either a blessing or a curse. There are days that things happen that at the time look like a curse. In the passing of time, they may become what appears to be a blessing. An illustration is Joseph, when he was sold into slavery it looked like a curse, it looked like the worse day of his life. When his brothers came into Egypt looking for food, what looked like a bad day 13 years before turned out to be a blessed day. What happened in New Orleans looked like the curse of God, in time if New Orleans recovers and becomes the pristine city it can become it may in time be called a blessing. But at this time it’s called a curse.


PRAGER: Right, but in the case, did NPR get, is this quote correct though that in the case of New Orleans you do feel it was sin?

HAGEE: In the case of New Orleans, their plan to have that homosexual rally was sin. But it never happened. The rally never happened.

PRAGER: No, I understand.

HAGEE: It was scheduled that Monday.

PRAGER: No, I’m only trying to understand that in the case of New Orleans, you do feel that God’s hand was in it because of a sinful city?

HAGEE: That it was a city that was planning a sinful conduct, yes.

Granted, I’m not exactly the foremost expert on religion, but it sure does sound like Hagee is making some kind of Great Flood analogy, where God cleanses the Earth of the wicked for a clean start.  Either that, or He was simply so outraged by the idea of a gay pride parade that he wiped out the entire city.  But if God hates gays and their horrible, sinful gay parades of gayness that much, why is San Francisco still standing?  I mean, it’s in prime earthquake country, and yeah, it got hit pretty bad in 1989, but it hasn’t been totally devastated since 1906, and I’m pretty sure that was before gayness was even invented.

So what gives?  Why wipe out New Orleans and not San Francisco?  Is it all the black people and the poor people?  Is that it? Or maybe God is waiting for all the gay people to migrate to San Francisco, until it’s like Israel for gays (Gaysrael?)… so then He can wipe them all out at once, thus conserving His divine energy and reducing collateral damage to cities like New Orleans.

Um, not that I’m actually advocating that God destroy San Francisco, I’m just trying to understand the apparent inconsistency here.  Admittedly, I can’t see the entire universe, so I’m sure there must be very good big-picture explanation that I just can’t comprehend.  Or, alternatively, Hagee could just be a hate-filled crackpot who believes God to be an omnipotent version of himself, but I’m sure a Serious Presidential Nominee Of A Major Political Party would ever seek the endorsement of a hate-filled crackpot.  No, surely not.

Boy, I sure hope McCain gets some questions about this when he’s in Louisiana tomorrow.  I hope they make him angry.  You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

3 comments April 23rd, 2008 at 07:34pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,Katrina,McCain,Politics,Religion,Republicans,Teh Gay

Eli’s Obsession With The Google

My blog is on the first page of search results for Vietnam was bad.

Multi Medium: Serving all your obviousness needs since 2005!

April 23rd, 2008 at 05:25pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

“Go to Hell” may not be such a terrible thing to say after all:

(By Lisa Merakis)

Photographer Johnny Corazzo died for seven minutes when his heart stopped during an operation, went to Hell – and says it was great, absolutely great!

The 51-year-old bachelor says Satan’s kingdom was full of fast cars, free booze, babes in bikinis, slot machines, hookers, greasy fried food and other amenities.  It was so terrific down there that he didn’t want to return to normal life again.

“In Hell I saw my best friend from the old neighborhood and when he told me it wasn’t my time yet I was really disappointed,” recalled Corazzo.

“I woke up in intensive care and I actually cried, thinking of the exciting scene I had left behind.”

“I want to be back there where things are hot.  I want to be having fun wil all those dudes down there.  But I guess Satan has plans for me here on Earth.”


“I remember travelling through a tunnel toward a bright light,” said Corazzo…  “Suddenly I came out into a huge space where I could see millions of people, many of whom I knew had died years ago.  These people were enjoying themselves, sitting around playing cards or drinking beer or playing the slots.

“They all looked so happy.  They were having so much fun.  There were beautiful babes all over the place, serving chicken nuggets, french fries and drinks.  I had ust grabbed a frosty bottle of beer when my old pal came up to me and told me I had to go back.  I was so upset.”

Corazzo said that since his glimpse of Hell, he’s lost his fear of death.  He says he can’t wait to die and go back to the great afterlife there.

But meanwhile, he intends to live a sinful life so he doesn’t wind up in Heaven by mistake.

“I know where the fun is now,” the photographer said, “No way do I want to spend eternity with a bunch of boring goody two-shoes in Paradise.”

You know, if they have Dr Pepper, it doesn’t sound half bad.  On the other hand, maybe this is just the version of Hell you see if you’re not going to stay dead, so you’ll be motivated to continue doing evil things.  Then, when you die permanently, you go to the real Hell, where you get disemboweled with rusty garden shears every hour on the hour.

Weekly World News also provided a helpful list of Signs You’re Going To Hell. My favorites:

  • You wear white after Labor Day
  • You own a Michael Jackson album on CD
  • You’ve occasionally asked God to damn something for you
  • You consider yourself a homosexual, transsexual, heterosexual, metrosexual, or Democrat [by my math, this leaves only bisexual Republicans and Independents]
  • You’re a producer, director, or writer for a reality TV show
  • You enjoy movies with graphic violence, brief nudity, adult situations, or CGI effects
  • You engage in sexual acts for reasons other than procreation
  • You have rolled your eyes at the mention of Mother Teresa
  • You [have subscribed to] the Weekly World News

Bikini devil babes, here I come!

April 23rd, 2008 at 11:21am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Signs Of The End Times



Yes, it’s a Hello Kitty washing machine.  Surely we are all doomed.  Doomed!

(h/t Engadget)

April 23rd, 2008 at 07:05am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weirdness

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