Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

June 18th, 2008at 11:34am Posted by Eli

It’s like the gag from Amelie on steroids…

(By Michael Chiron)

Bewildered NASA scientists are working overtime to solve a baffling mystery – after a space probe photographed Earth-type garden gnomes and pink flamingos on Mars!

Initial speculation that the images might have been the handiwork of a prankster at the space agency was shot out of the water when photos beamed back by another probe showed the same type of cheesy lawn ornaments littering the surface of the moon.

“Clearly we’re looking at a pattern, but exactly what’s going on here is a mystery to me – and I have three Ph.Ds,” declares astronomer and rocket scientist Dr. Henry Brinsezki, who has been working with NASA to solve the mind-bending riddle.

…Dr. Brinsezki confirms that the first set of images were taken in April 2001by the Mars Global Surveyor as it passed over a region of the Red Planet known as Cydonia.  And shockingly, they’ve been kept secret from the public ever since.

Then, just last month, another NASA probe photographed close to a dozen gnomes and flamingos in the moon’s Sea of Tranquillity.

Now NASA scientists are racking their brains, trying to come up with a logical explanation.

Among the theories currently being bandied about:

1) A shadowy organization known as the Gnome Liberation Group, known to be behind the kidnapping of thousands of gnomes from lawns going back a decade or more, placed the objects on the celestial bodies as a prank – or perhaps to give the little men their “freedom.”

“The trouble with this theory is that there’s no evidence that this organization has the funding or wherewithal to achieve space travel,” points out… Dr. Brinsezki.  “If they have, that’s almost as unsettling as the thought of aliens traipsing around our solar system.”

2) The objects are ancient artifacts left behind by a long-dead alien civilization that visited Earth eons ago and started the lawn ornament tradition on our world.

3) Modern-day ETs who like the way mankind’s lawn ornaments look placed them in the front yards of their hidden lunar and Martian bases in comparatively recent times.

So far, this theory has won the most adherents at NASA because some of the gnomes are just yards from where astronaut Neil Armstrong walked in 1969, yet he made no mention of having seen them.

The fact that goofy-looking lawn ornaments are cluttering the historic site actually has some NASA officials hopping mad.

“Frankly, no matter who put those gnomes and other junk on the moon and elsewhere, we want them gone,” fumes a NASA source who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “They’re making our solar system very tacky.”

Could be worse.  There could be lawn jockeys, and lunar rovers up on blocks.

Also, I have to admit that I kinda like the Garden Gnomes Of The Gods theory.  It’s probably the most logical explanation for the existence of garden gnomes and lawn flamingos that I’ve ever heard.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

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