Archive for July 2nd, 2008

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News-Blogging

I’m just the messenger…

(By Mike Foster)

In paintings of the Last Supper, all of Christ’s followers are depicted as men, but startling new evidence has emerged proving that two of the Apostles were sassy, full-bodied gals!

And the forgotten 13th disciple, named Joanna, didn’t just tag along with the boys to do their laundry and wash their dishes – she played a critical role in getting Christianity off the ground, experts say.

The mind-blowing revelation may finally help to solve some of the most intriguing Bible mysteries of all time, such as the puzzling discovery of lipstick on the Holy Grail, the chalice used at the Last Supper.

And it has led to speculation that other of the Apostles may have belonged to the fairer sex as well – including turncoat disciple Judas, who, experts now suspect, was really a woman named Judith.

“It would certainly explain why Judas suddenly kisses Jesus at the Last Supper,” notes one Bible scholar.

“Judas was Our Lord’s most devoted follower one minute and His betrayer the next.  Her impulsive decision to turn Jesus in suggests a scorned woman acting out of jealousy and rage.

“Or perhaps it was simply her time of the month.”

But while the notion that Judas was really Judith remains controversial, researchers are now quite certain that Joanna was a lady Apostle.

The wife of a prominent courier to King Herod, Joanna changed her name to Junia when she became a follower of Christ, says Richard Bauckham, professor of New Testament Studies at St. Andrews University.

The Bible makes the importance of this figure quite clear.  In St. Paul’s letter to the Romans, he describes Junia as “prominent among the Apostles.”

The feisty den-mom disciple witnessed the crucifixion and was also on hand for Christ’s miraculous resurrection.

But in the Middle Ages, when the Bible was being translated, scholars altered her name to the masculine form, Junias – either by mistake or to impose their own sexist views – and her role was largely forgotten.

“The medieval church was male-dominated and they wanted it to stay that way, but whether someone was cooking the books to make it appear that the Apostles were all men is not yet certain,” Robert Bartlett, a professor of medieval history at St. Andrews, said in an interview.

A source inside the Vatican says Pope John Paul II is stunned by the possibility of a female Apostle.

“This could lead to some big changes in the role that women play in the Catholic church,” the source predicts.

…Or not.

1 comment July 2nd, 2008 at 10:12pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

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