Archive for July 30th, 2008

The High Ground Express

McCain Campaign Director Rick Davis memo to campaign leadership, March 11, 2008:

It is critical, as we prepare to face off with whomever the Democrats select as their nominee, that we all follow John’s lead and run a respectful campaign focused on the issues and values that are important to the American people.

Throughout the primary election we saw John McCain reject the type of politics that degrade our civics, and this will not change as he prepares to run head-to-head against the Democratic nominee.


Overheated rhetoric and personal attacks on our opponents distract from the big differences between John McCain’s vision for the future of our nation and the Democrats’….

Throughout his life John McCain has held himself to the highest standards and he will continue to run a respectful campaign based on the issues. We expect that all supporters, surrogates and staff will hold themselves to similarly high standards when they are representing the campaign.

Cindy McCain, May 8, 2008:

What you’re going to see is a great debate. Which is what the American public deserves. None of this negative stuff, though. You won’t see it come out of our side at all.

NYT lead editorial, July 30, 2008:

On July 3, news reports said Senator John McCain, worried that he might lose the election before it truly started, opened his doors to disciples of Karl Rove from the 2004 campaign and the Bush White House. Less than a month later, the results are on full display. The candidate who started out talking about high-minded, civil debate has wholeheartedly adopted Mr. Rove’s low-minded and uncivil playbook.


Almost immediately, the McCain campaign was using Mr. Rove’s well-honed tactics, starting with an attempt to widen this nation’s damaging ideological divide by painting Mr. Obama as a far-left kook. On July 18, Mr. McCain even suggested that Mr. Obama is a socialist to the left of the Senate’s only avowed socialist: Bernie Sanders of Vermont.


Taking a page straight from Mr. Bush and Mr. Rove, Mr. McCain has been trying to distract voters from his support for an unending war in Iraq by portraying Mr. Obama as unpatriotic and weak….

Mr. McCain repeatedly said Mr. Obama “would rather lose a war to win a political campaign” and that he “does not understand” what is at stake in Iraq. He also accused Mr. Obama of canceling a visit to wounded American troops in a German military hospital because news cameras were not allowed. That’s a false account of what occurred — and Mr. McCain ignored Mr. Obama’s unheralded visit to a combat hospital in Baghdad.

Like Mr. Bush, Mr. McCain confuses opposition to an unnecessary war with a lack of spine and an unwillingness to use force when the nation is truly in danger….

And now we have this new McCain ad which juxtaposes Obama with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, which is suggesting either that he’s a frivolous airhead, or that he’s a Black Man Who Will Take Our White Women OMG, or both.

McCain has sold what little honor he had left in his desperate pursuit of Dubya’s third term, and he either doesn’t care who knows it, or trusts that the supposedly pro-Obama media won’t mention it.

5 comments July 30th, 2008 at 10:42pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,McCain,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Image Of The Week

“No Joke,” by Drew Friedman in Vanity Fair. Wow.

(f/t Attaturk)

2 comments July 30th, 2008 at 09:36pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Art/Architecture,Bush,Coolness

More Republican Family Values

For those of you who think the GOP can’t possibly top itself… meet Pete Sessions (R-Champagne Room):

From MarketPlace we learn that family-values conservative GOP Congressman Pete Sessions (R-TX) has been holding fundraisers at a strip club in Vegas. Sessions was publicly livid over Janet Jackson’s “liberal values” when she bared her covered boobs during the SuperBowl a few years back (Pete Sessions… scolded Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for forcing “their liberal values upon the rest of the country”…). Sessions was less upset about the boobs shown at his fundraisers at a Vegas strip joint. Here is how Sessions described the affair to the media…. It’s priceless:

Sessions: That’s right, we do a Las Vegas fundraiser every year and not only raise money, but see Las Vegas. It’s a beautiful town.

Henn: Forty Deuce is a strip club.

Sessions: You know, I’ve never seen that. It is what I would call a burlesque show where there’s a woman who comes out and has a dress on… Uh, she never get’s naked. There’s no nudity, there’s no nudity in there.

This is how the club’s owner, Ivan Kane, describes his brand of burlesque.

Ivan Kane: The key component would be to have girls who were dancers taking their clothes off, not just girls taking their clothes off.

Sessions spent more than $5,000 at Kane’s club that night in March, according to federal disclosures. Those reports show Sessions spent another $2,100 on his hotel.

Check out the link for more Very Tasteful Burlesque Photos.  Especially the ones with American flags – As John points out, Sessions co-sponsored a constitutional amendment to criminalize flag desecration…

4 comments July 30th, 2008 at 08:23pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

I think now we know why the appeals court threw out the $550,000 fine for Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction”:

(By Vickie York)

Jiggly Janet Jackson’s antics at the Super Bowl half-time show enraged many Americans.  But she’s won the gratitude of thousands of people worldwide, who claim they were cured of disease after watching her exposed breast on TV – or simply touching a photograph of it!

Sports fans who tuned into the game and inadvertently got an eyeful of Janet’s bare boob have flooded health departments with letters stating that the sight cured them of a host of medical woes, ranging from cancer to zits.

Perhaps even more incredibly, hundreds of others who only saw the censored image when it was replayed ad nauseum on TV – or touched a still picture in their morning newspaper the next day – also claim to have received miracle cures.

And while angry FCC honchos are investigating Janet and MTV, which produced the half-time show, for possible violation of federal decency rules, folks whose health was restored by the naughty display are begging the agency to give the miracle songbird a break.

“When Justin Timberlake tore Janet’s costume and her breast popped out, I felt a shock go through me,” says 85-year-old Edith F. of Paterson, N.J., who had been confined to a wheel chair due to crippling arthritis since 1993.

“I was so disgusted, I stood up, crossed the room and turned off the TV.  Then I realized what I’d done – I’d walked for the first time in 11 years.  There’s no pain in my legs anymore.  My arthritis has been cured.  Janet’s miracle boob healed me.

“She should be rewarded, not punished.  And they should rebroadcast that moment every chance they get.”

Other amazing accounts:

o A 56-year-old brain cancer patient in Tulsa, Okla., says his tumors vanished overnight after he saw the “accidental” boob-baring episode replayed on Good Morning, America.

o A 24-year-old Shreveport, La., man who suffered from acne for a decade claims viewing the half-time show cleared up his complexion.

o A 35-year-old Topeka, Kan., housewife plagued by hemorrhoids says the condition went away after she touched a censored newspaper photo of the boob-flash.  “I was covering up the picture so my son wouldn’t see it, and the very next time I used the bathroom everything was completely clear.”

While most experts are skeptical, some say it’s conceivable that the shocking event really has medical miracles busting out all over:

“We’ve known for decades now that a shock to the system can sometimes jolt the body back to health,” explains Dr. John Wilson.  “Shocking images can jump-start the body’s own healing mechanisms.”

This would not be the first time that breasts have been shown to possess therapeutic powers in addition to their many other positive qualities.

July 30th, 2008 at 11:46am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Ted Stevens’ Corruption AOK With AK Republicans

Stevens primary opponent, Dave Cuddy:

Asked if he would call on Sen. Stevens to either pledge to run in the general election or bow out before the primary, Cuddy said: “I don’t want to presume to tell Ted what to do. There’s so much going on. … I can’t even begin to presume what he needs to do to put himself in the best bargaining position [legally].”

Ted’s buddy David Dittman has a truly hilarious take on the situation:

“Uncle Ted, he frankly doesn’t have a dishonest bone in his body,” Dittman said. “It’s the appearance that’s so damning. The last thing he would do is to behave improperly.”

Dittman went on to hypothesize that the suspected corruption, in which Stevens is accused of receiving a preferable rate on a home renovations from a business that he also lobbied for in the Senate, was more innocent than it may appear.

“If someone asked me to watch their yard while they’re out of town, and I happened to notice their grass was growing too long and I cut it — say they came back and brought me a pie. I wouldn’t turn it down, and I wouldn’t say that I [did the favor] in order to get that reward. I think in this case, the [company] doing renovations on the Senator’s house simply appreciated what he’s done for Alaska, and decided to surprise him and do something for him. [Maybe] they put in a refrigerator. … At the time, it was probably much more innocent. … Knowing the Senator, that’s just the way I see it.”

Yeah, that’s right – VECO just installed a $250,000 refrigerator solely out of gratitude for Ted’s service to Alaska, just like you would bake a pie for a neighbor who mowed your lawn.  I’m sure that’s it.

Is it any wonder the GOP is awash in corruption?  They can excuse or explain away anything.

6 comments July 30th, 2008 at 06:46am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Elections,Politics,Republicans

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