Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News-Blogging

2 comments July 9th, 2008at 12:16pm Posted by Eli

Whatever gets you through the day…

(By Nick Jeffreys)

Dr. Haden “Dutch” Vanderflooger was suspended without pay from California’s prestigious Surgery Depot for writing filthy swear words on patients’ internal organs, say police.

Investigators, tipped off by an outraged nurse, say they’ve already discovered five cases of cursed guts.  Vanderflooger scribbled:

  • @#$% You on a pancreas
  • Screw Off on a liver
  • Go To Hell on a heart
  • Ass (on one lung) Hole (on the other)
  • #!%sucker, #!%sucker, #!%sucker, #!%sucker scrawled more than 50 times the length of a small intestine.

Vanderflooger freely admits to the surgical graffiti.

“Hey, it’s a hobby,” says the doctor.  “Some guys fish or build ship models.  I write obscene words on my patients’ insides.  It doesn’t hurt them.  I make sure to use non-toxic magic markers, and it makes me laugh.  Come on.  My job is very serious.  I need to lighten the mood or I’d go nuts.”

After the peeved R.N. ratted to cops, a few of Vanderflooger’s patients volunteered to undergo free MRI procedures so law enforcement officials could collect evidence.  The films were turned over to hospital administrators, who immediately cut off the surgeon’s privileges until they could decide what to do next.

“Vanderflooger is such a fine physician that his patients don’t want to press charges against the man who saved their lives,” says Sulu Valley, Calif., police chief Joe Esposito.  “And when we told them what was written on their organs, they thought it was hilarious.”

This is why you should never have your operation at a place called “Surgery Depot”.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

2 Comments

  • 1. spocko  |  July 9th, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    WWN = Onion in supermarkets

    I think I’ll read me some Ed Anger. 4th Amendment trashed to day.
    Give away to Telcos :-(

  • 2. Ruth  |  July 12th, 2008 at 9:18 am

    And I tho’t that those little walk-in med offices were the “Doc in a Box” – silly me.


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