Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

August 6th, 2008at 09:26pm Posted by Eli

Looks like the McCain veepstakes are heating up!

VICE PRESIDENT HOPEFUL VISITS BAT BOY’S HOME!

Romney promises to protect spelunkers from monsters

WEST VIRGINIA — Former Gov. Mitt Romney made a campaign stop at the famous cave where Bat Boy was found, using the scenic location to discuss safety issues.

Romney, campaigning for the Republican Party’s vice presidency nomination, stood before the cave entrance for a photo op while a press representative told a throng of supporters, bewildered tourists and reporters, “Given the incredible discovery that was made in this cave, the governor feels we need to be more vigilant about protecting workers and explorers from monsters. We ask our fellow citizens to enter these caves to work and we need to ensure that they can safely walk out at the end of the day.”

Walking near the entrance but declining to enter, Romney reportedly remarked that the country needs to wean itself from foreign energy supplies so it’s of paramount importance that our nation’s resources are safe. Creatures like Bat Boy, he was overheard to say, are a threat that has to be contained so our miners can dig with confidence.

(…)

Bat Boy, last seen in Manhattan, was unavailable for comment.

We’ve been so focused on fighting terrorists that we have lost sight of the dangers we face from the domestic monster community.  Kudos to Mr. Romney for his courageous efforts to raise our awareness of the monster threat.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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