Archive for September 24th, 2008

That Makes John A Sad Panderer.

Poor Johnny McCain:

McCain’s involvement in the “last great financial scandal in our country” has largely been ignored by the media. But local Ohio reporter Tom Beres finally forced McCain to comment on the Keating Five scandal in an interview yesterday. “Talk of greedy bankers, lax regulation brings back memories of the Keating Five,” Beres reported:

BERES: Is there some relevance of that chapter, which I think you have acknowledged was maybe not your proudest moment?

MCCAIN: It was a very unhappy period in my life. But the fact is that I moved forward and I have been the greatest voice for reform and against corruption in Washington than anybody.

Which period?  The one when he was living the high life with his corrupt BFF, or the one when he was exposed as the corrupt wanker he really is?

Good thing he’s learned his lesson now, and has his crack team of high-powered lobbyists working on a plan to get big money out of politics.

September 24th, 2008 at 11:20pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Elections,McCain


Hey, remember John Edwards’ effete liberal elitist $400 haircut?  Amateur.

Think John McCain is looking more handsome these days? Thank Tifanie White, Beverly Hills makeup artist to the stars — and the McCain campaign, which paid her $5,583.43 in August. US Weekly found White’s name in the Federal Election Commission filing of itemized disbursements; she’s better known for her work on “American Idol,” “So You Think You Can Dance” and, yes, Cindy McCain. The campaign had no comment.

Wow.  It takes over five thousand dollars to make John McCain look healthy.

September 24th, 2008 at 10:50pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,McCain

Oxymoron Of The Week

See if you can spot it:

Senate Democrats emerged from a meeting Wednesday with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson to report a general, conceptual — but fragile — agreement on a $700 billion plan to rescue the U.S. financial markets.

Senators said Paulson and the Democrats struck very tentative deals on Democratic demands on oversight and transparency, executive pay limits, and equity interest on taxpayers’ behalf as part of the massive plan. A hard-fought Democratic provision to allow bankruptcy judges to revise mortgage terms was not likely to survive the horse-trading, however, as Paulson would not agree to the provision that is already in the House and Senate versions.

Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) said a bill could be produced as early as Thursday, with debate and a vote likely over the weekend. Ideally, Durbin said the Senate would finish the bill before Wall Street opens on Monday.


Senators described a very somber, serious meeting, with Paulson describing the risk of inaction and working hard to sell the plan to skeptical Democrats during the closed-door caucus meeting.

Fantastic.  Once again our heroic leadership saves the day by giving Dubya and Wall Street everything they asked for.  This will surely endear Obama and the Democratic Party to ordinary working Americans – the only thing that could make this even better is if the Republicans end up opposing it and McCain gets to pretend to be a mavericky populist.

3 comments September 24th, 2008 at 10:26pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Economy,Politics,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Once again, the Weekly World News’ hard-hitting election coverage scoops the world:

A former doctor of Republican Presidential Candidate, Senator John McCain, claims the reason McCain has continually refused to release his medical records is because he is, in fact, a cyborg!

Dr. John Lawler, renowned gastroenterologist at Walter Reed Medical Center, reports that during a routine medical inspection, he discovered what he believed to be polyps on Sen. McCain’s colon. Upon further inspection, Dr. Lawler discovered what appeared to be thumbnail sized microchips throughout Sen. McCain’s digestive and nervous system.

Calls to the Hanoi Hilton have not been returned, although a recent press release from medical personnel formerly employed by the Viet Cong suggest prior knowledge of McCain’s cyborg status. The press release, dated September 15, 2008 denies any role in transforming McCain into a machine.

This is not the first time that claims of a Northern Vietnamese program to infiltrate the United States government with cyborg operatives have emerged. However, until now, hard proof of such a program has been unavailable.

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a request has been submitted to the Federal Government on behalf of Weekly World News to require the McCain Campaign to release all medical records for the Senator.

Well, now we finally know what McCain’s been hiding.  Are cyborgs even constitutionally eligible to be president?

Also, if he’s gasoline-powered, I think it’s fair to ask how this would impact his foreign policy decisions.

September 24th, 2008 at 11:25am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Quick Bailout Thoughts

I hope Obama and the Democrats keep in mind that every dollar that goes towards the bailout is a dollar that can’t be spent on universal healthcare or lower-bracket tax cuts.  So they really need to make sure that the bailout cost is really the absolute minimum needed to stabilize the economy, and that none of it is wasted on making life easier for the Wall Street wankers who created the crisis.  I also like some kind of variation of Bernie Sanders’ 10% surtax on people making over a million a year.  Give the rest of us a break and let the rich pay for their own mess.

I also can’t help wondering: If the Republicans and Bush administration had given a damn about giving the rest of us a break, and had addressed the stagnation and even decreases in real wages and increases in the unemployed and underemployed (not to mention the lack of healthcare or protections against predatory lending practices)… would there even be as many people defaulting on their mortgages right now?  There is economic value to a healthy consumer class, but Republicans just can’t grasp the concept of trickle-up.

September 24th, 2008 at 07:25am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Economy

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