Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

October 8th, 2008at 11:32am Posted by Eli

The Amish have unexpectedly catapulted themselves to the forefront of the alternative energy community:

The Amish have begun using zombies for manual labor. Despite their reputation for resisting change and a simple life, the Amish are quickly replacing horses and other beasts of burden with the walking dead in many rural communities.

A recent outbreak in nearby Philadelphia brought scores of zombies to Pennsylvania’s idyllic “Amish Country.” Quilt shops and covered bridges from Lancaster to Brandywine were littered with animated corpses. But in tragedy, Jebediah Rosmarin saw an opportunity.

“The town was filled with zombies, and the Jenkins needed their barn raised. Seemed like the natural thing to do.”…

Given their long lifespan and limited food requirements, zombies have become an ideal pack animal for a slow economy. Now covered buggies pulled by zombies can be seen slowly hobbling throughout Lancaster County.

When asked if it is ever awkward to see former friends and loved ones as living-dead pack animals, Rev. Kurtzweill responded “We know they would forgive us for denying them peace, and we forgive them for trying to eat us. In the end the work gets done and that’s what’s most important.”

It seems like a win-win solution all the way ’round.  What could go wrong?

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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