Archive for November 26th, 2008

Michael Savage’s Big Gay Apocalypse

I have this theory that Michael Savage’s primary purpose in life is to make Rush Limbaugh look tolerant and sane. Here, let me show you what I mean:

Well, socially, we’re far worse — more degenerate than Weimar Germany. At least in Weimar Germany, men couldn’t marry men and women couldn’t marry women. So we’re probably 10 leagues below the degeneracy that brought about Hitler. We’re probably 50 leagues below the degeneracy that brought about Hitler. We are the sickest, most disgusting country on the earth, and we are… psychotic as a nation.

It’s a psychotic nation when the attorney general of the state of California, when the senator from the state of California named Dianne Feinstein, when the governor from the state of California who posed as a strongman gets up there and says that homosexuals have a right to marry that’s equal to a man and a woman, they’re insane. They are fundamentally insane.

Got that? The fact that there was opposition to Prop 8, that there are actually people who – gasp – believe that gay people should have the same right as everyone else, means that we are the most degenerate country in the world, and that the moral backlash from righteous people like Michael Savage will almost certainly lead to the second coming of Adolf Hitler. Awesome.

In fact, gay marriage is so terrible that it’s actually the single biggest problem that America has, and all our other problems are merely a symptom of our horrific amoral gay tolerance:

[Y]ou may say, “Why should we care about homosexuals trying to destroy families through the mock marriage that they perform in order to mock God, the church, the family, children, the fetus, the DNA of the human species? Why should we care about it while we have a financial meltdown?” Because the spiritual side of the downturn on Wall Street is directly related to the moral downturn in the United States of America.

(…)

[T]he government has no right to force people to accept homosexual marriage. It is why the West is dying. It is why we’re melting down as a nation.

So that’s the root cause! And all this time I thought it was the Bush administration and its enablers’ total disrespect for human decency and the rule of law! I am so glad there are superior intellects like Michael Savage around to set me straight and remind me what’s really important.

3 comments November 26th, 2008 at 05:51pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Republicans,Teh Gay,Wankers

B&W Philly Subway Stair Photoblogging

Stairs!

Mine are blank.

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November 26th, 2008 at 11:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Photoblogging

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Ashley Dupre, eat your heart out:

For her special this Friday, Diane Sawyer interviewed several unique stories in the sex industry, including a Sasquatch who turned to prostitution to survive.

(…)

It started while she was crossing an intersection one night, lost and trying to find her way back to the wilderness.  A limousine approached the bewildered Sasquatch, and an unnamed elected official propositioned her.  How this unnamed official discreetly bartered for sex with a creature that doesn’t speak English remains unclear.  But it worked and she has been in the business ever since.

Standing at 7’2”, 550 pounds and covered in body hair, she tends to attract a certain kind of man.  Footage shows she is mostly hired by upper class men who want to be pushed around or risk their lives mid-coitus.  If her Prada shoes and matching bag are any indication, she has become quite popular among the well-to-do.

When Diane asked if she was ever scared for her safety at work, the Sasquatch beat on her chest and grunted loudly.  Through a series of gestures she indicated that one customer who tried to get rough had his arm ripped off and was beaten with it until she got tired.

Provided the interview does well, Diane Sawyer has indicated she may turn this into a serial expose on cryptid call girls. The very flexible Lizard Woman is believed to be the obvious next choice.

So, um, has anyone noticed any Republican congressmen mysteriously missing an arm lately?

November 26th, 2008 at 07:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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