Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

1 comment November 19th, 2008at 10:38am Posted by Eli

Weekly World News is tracking the transition process as President-Elect Obama moves the pieces in place for his new role.

First off, there appears to be some unexpected controversy about Hillary’s cabinet position:

Despite news that President-Elect Barack Obama is considering Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State, Clinton has now publicly declared her wishes.

At an “impromptu” press conference, Hillary was surrounded by mutant Americans as she stated, “I am most interested in heading up the new Bureau of Mutant Affairs!”

“I for one know what it’s like to be persecuted for being a minority,” she explained while crying softly. “It was very difficult running to be the first female presidential nominee. But if I could get through that, I can certainly help these mutants break through their own glass ceiling!”

Obama aides are saying he has taken this as a personal affront on his family, as it was well known that Obatma was to be the first Commissioner of the Bureau of Mutant Affairs. Many Americans feel that Obama owes Clinton a position in his cabinet after bumping her out of the primaries, so he may bring unwanted scorn if he turns her down.

A female mutant at the rally also felt conflicted. “Who should I support more? The first female Commissioner or the first mutant Commissioner? I really just don’t know.”

Insiders are not expecting Clinton to challenge Obatma to a debate, as it could be viewed as malicious due to his inability to speak any human language.

And remember that hypollergenic puppy Obama was going to get for his daughters?  Well, not so much…

President-Elect Obama’s Transition team announced today that the First Family to be has made a very important decision. They have decided on what breed of pet to bring to the White House: a Bigfoot.

In fact, it is a tiny Bigfoot.  And to accommodate Malia’s allergies, this little big-guy is the first hypo-allergenic Sasquatch known to man.

(…)

“Hikers found the Tiny Bigfoot, Albert, in the woods back in August,” shelter director, Susan Thomas told reporters.  “We ran all sorts of tests on him to identify his species and age, and one of the things we noticed was that he didn’t cause an allergic reaction in people who usually show signs resulting from dander or saliva.  He may not be a mutt, but he sure is a doll.”

The Tiny Bigfoot spent the weekend with the Obama family to insure Malia didn’t have any adverse reactions.  Spokesmen from the First-Lady-Elect’s office told reporters that the family took to Albert very quickly.  “He is already a great companion to the girls and is proving to be an excellent guard dog.  He doesn’t let them out of his sight.”

The President-Elect himself is reported to be very pleased with their choice and looks forward to increased relations between his administration and the cryptid community.

All the more important that he make the right choice to head the Bureau of Mutant Affairs…

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

1 Comment

  • 1. Leslie  |  November 19th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    Thanks Eli :)

    Glad we can keep some humor during the media madness…

    haha – I’ll hopefully advise him to make the right choice… I mean he really needs Bat Boy to represent the Bureau of Mutant Affairs right??

    Best,

    LG


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