Archive for January 7th, 2009

Joe The Plumber Author War Correspondent

Joe The Plumber’s ongoing quest to become The King Of All Media continues…

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka “Joe the Plumber,” is taking on a new job as a war correspondent. He is heading to Israel to cover the war for the conservative site Wurzelbacher said his 10-day journey will help explain why Israeli forces are mounting attacks against Hamas:

I get to go over there and let their “Average Joes” share their story, what they think, how they feel — especially with, you know, world opinion. Maybe get a real story out there.

Yes, I’m sure that with Joe’s l33t journalamism skills, he will surely come up with a scoop or two, if you define “scoop” as “a story that no-one else is reporting,” without imposing any conditions of accuracy or plausibility.  I wonder what kind of unique perspective he might bring to his original reporting…

Last October, Wurzelbacher claimed that Obama’s victory would mean “death to Israel,” leading Fox News reporter Shep Smith to call him “frightening.” Wurzelbacher also questioned Obama’s loyalty to the U.S., and has justified the invasion and occupation of Iraq by claiming “it’s like someone coming to Jesus and becoming saved.”

Yes, he sounds very objective.

This is either a classic case of wingnut welfare, or the GOP’s none-too-subtle attempt to get rid of him…

January 7th, 2009 at 09:15pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Republicans,Wankers,War

Lying: If It’s Good Enough For The Bush Administration, It’s Good Enough For You

Or maybe it’s like when criminals make sure the new guy does at least some of the dirty work, so he can’t rat them out later…

Ruegsegger was one of 100 people at a Bond Hill meeting Tuesday about the digital TV conversion with Federal Communications Commission Chairman Kevin Martin.

Most of the questions were about flaws in a program – now out of money – by another federal agency to provide two free $40 coupons for converters enabling old analog sets to receive digital signals.

The government has ordered full-power TV stations to switch to digital signals on Feb. 17, which Martin called “the biggest change in TV history since color television.”

More than a dozen people complained to Martin that their coupons had expired in 90 days, before they could purchase converters, a clock-radio-size device.

Because the government will not reissue coupons to the same address, Martin recommended that those needing coupons ask a friend, neighbor or relative with cable or satellite service, or new digital TVs – who don’t need the converters – to apply for them.

“Find someone else to apply and get them for you. They are fully transferable. What’s important is that you get a coupon and go get a converter box,” Martin said.

Ruegsegger tried to do just that with a neighbor – but they halted the online process when the neighbor was required to lie about needing coupons for his own home.

“That’s not right, to make you falsify an application,” Ruegsegger told Martin, while several applauded at the Cincinnati-Hamilton County Community Action Agency conference room.

Martin agreed, but said that’s what the coupon agency – the Commerce Department’s National Telecommunications and Information Administration – “is telling people to do. They’re saying it’s OK. I’m here to tell you it’s OK,” he said.

Not only are the Bushies operating under a completely different moral code than most people, it doesn’t even occur to them that everyone else doesn’t think the exact same way.  They’re cool with lying, so they figure we are, too – especially if they’ve told us it’s okay.

Also: Why not just have the coupons expire on, say, February 17th?

January 7th, 2009 at 07:45pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Media,Republicans,Technology,TV

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

The Weekly World News has discovered the real reason behind Steve Jobs’ mysterious weight loss and absence from this year’s MacWorld keynote:

Weekly World News sources inside Apple say that Jobs is hiding the real reason for his treatments: He wants undergo radical hormone replacement in order to make a run to become California’s first female governor in 2010. This is in contrary to the recent debacle at MacWorld, where hackers announced his supposed death.

“Steve Jobs has been a longtime supporter of women’s and transgender rights as CEO of Apple,” claims the source. “This move to do a total sex change upgrade speaks to his commitment to quality and strict hardware standards.”

Jobs is forgoing the keynote speech at MacWorld in order to continue hormone therapy, and prepare for the gubernatorial race, which would pit Jobs against steroid user Arnold Schwarzenegger and perhaps former eBay CEO Meg Whitman (reportedly also woman) for the top job in the Golden State.

This does not, however, explain why the keynote’s product announcements totally sucked ass.  A 17″ MacBook with a magic battery?  That’s your big news?  Really?

January 7th, 2009 at 07:26am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

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