Archive for January 9th, 2009

Friday Quote & Puppy Blogging

This week’s quote is from Lilith – Warren Beatty and Jean Seberg in the nervous hospital:

You must love your god a great deal to kill for him – and still go on loving him.  I’d never ask that of a lover.  I’d only ask his joy.

And, of course, there’ll be other people’s wee bulldog puppies…


January 9th, 2009 at 09:22pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Cuteness,Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

The Fairness Doctrine Is Hiding Under My Bed OMG!

The Republicans really are a bunch of hyperventilating clowns…

Today, I overheard a group of leading Republicans talking in the House about the greatest threats facing America.

And here — made public for the first time — is their list:

1. Bigfoot
2. Killer Bees
3. Fluoride in the drinking water
4. Canada
5. The return of the Fairness Doctrine.

OK, so I made up the first four. But like the rest, the danger of the Fairness Doctrine coming back is completely imaginary.

Yet somehow that hasn’t stopped 124 Republicans from pushing a preposterous piece of legislation — as one of their first acts of the new Congress — that would prevent the Federal Communications Commission from reinstating the Fairness Doctrine, a policy that has been dead for 20 years.


The “Broadcaster Freedom Act” — sponsored in the House by Reps. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) and Greg Walden (R-Ore.), and in the Senate by Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) and John Thune (R-S.D.) — is the latest effort “to keep radio airwaves free from government censorship and suppression” by marauding liberal ideologues.

Senator DeMint proclaims: “Democrats want to impose an unfair doctrine that destroys talk radio and silences the voices of millions of Americans who disagree with their vision for America.”

So far the evidence for this conspiracy seems to consist of a lame joke Chuck Schumer made on Fox about “fair and balanced,” an interview in which Jeff Bingaman pined for “informed discussion of public issues,” and something James Inhofe overheard in an elevator. Dennis Kucinich is also rumored to be involved. The Da Vinci Code it ain’t.


Let’s review: It wasn’t in the Democratic Party platform. No bill has been introduced in the Democrat-controlled Congress. No FCC rules are pending. And President-elect Barack Obama has stated unequivocally that he “does not support re-imposing” the Fairness Doctrine.

What’s more, there is no movement among media reformers, the netroots, or the vast left-wing conspiracy to bring it back. Nobody wants it: not Free Press or Common Cause, Media Matters or MoveOn, DailyKos or the Daily Worker.

In fact, the only people actually pushing the Fairness Doctrine are Rush Limbaugh, George Will and the Republican Study Committee. It better be good for ratings and direct-mail donations, because the idea that the doctrine is a priority for anyone with any power to bring it back is completely delusional.

This new bill is a political stunt, pure and simple. But when the bill fails, as it surely will, all the same shouting heads will be all over Fox News and the AM dial claiming they’re about to be gagged and that communism is on the march.

“If you really don’t want to bring back the Fairness Doctrine,” they’ll ask, “why don’t you support this legislation?”

Here’s why: This is farce. And Congress has real work to do.

Even for Republicans, this is a very impressive example of their unparalleled ability to Just Make Shit Up Out Of Thin Air.  Especially when it comes to conjuring boogeymen – remember, that’s how we ended up in Iraq.  With a little help from the “liberal media.”

2 comments January 9th, 2009 at 11:28am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

But Does Obama Have The Proportionate Progressiveness Of A Spider?

Well, this is cool but somewhat bizarre…

Inspired by the revelation that the incoming president collected the super hero’s comics as a kid, Marvel Comics is drawing the world’s most famous fanboy into the next issue of “Amazing Spider-Man,” on sale next Wednesday.

“When we read that we thought, ‘Oh my God the future Commander-in-chief is actually the future nerd-in-chief,'” said Joe Quesada, Marvel’s top editor.

“With a geek in the White House, we just had to give him a shout back. It’s just the coolest thing ever.”

In the 5-page tongue-in-cheek story, Obama’s Inauguration is interrupted by the appearance of a second Obama – who is likely one of Spider-Man’s nefarious arch-enemies.

Spider-Man makes Obama and his doppelganger play basketball to figure out which one is real (or possibly just for his own amusement), and exchanges a terrorist fist-bump with the president-elect as the impostor is led away.  I especially liked the panel in the USA Today photo gallery where Spidey says, “I think Biden’s still mad I confused him for the Vulture on the train that one time.”

Needless to say, this all proves that Marvel and Spider-Man are objectively pro-terrorist.  Or pro-Nazi.  Or something.

Hey, Quesada says he would have put McCain in the comic (presumably without the Spider-mandated pickup basketball game) if the Maverick were a Spider-Man fan – it’s not his fault McCain’s a terrible candidate and a Batman fan. Perhaps if McCain had won, Batman could have used a piloting and skirt-chasing contest to identify the President-Elect’s evil twin.  McCain would then call Batman “My friend,” only to be rebuffed with “I have no friends,” or something similarly grim.  Of course, DC would have to bring him back to life first.  Batman, I mean.

January 9th, 2009 at 07:47am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Comics,Coolness,Democrats,Obama,Weirdness

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