Archive for January 12th, 2009

Epic Humor Fail

You know, contrary to popular progressve opinion, it is not impossible for conservatives to be funny.  I think some of Lileks’ Gallery Of Regrettable Food stuff is actually pretty funny, for example.  But the majority of right-wing attempts at humor are sabotaged by their own mean-spiritedness and smug self-regard.  Sometimes there’s the ugliness of bigotry mixed in as a special bonus.

There is really nothing quite so uncomfortable or embarrassing to watch than someone who thinks that they are sparkling with breezy, effervescent wit, when in actuality they are just making a clumsy ass of themselves.  It’s almost as bad as when the seemingly normal person you’re talking to starts casually dropping racial slurs.  Ann Coulter provides the worst of both worlds:

Say hello to Ann Coulter, author of the new book “Guilty.”

What word do you routinely misspell? The word “mis-spel”

What’s the name of your cell phone ring? Wagner’s Entire Ring Cycle.

What time did you get up this morning? 3:45 P.M.

When did you last cry and why? November 5, 2008. No particular reason.

How many emails do you receive a day, roughly? I’ve never received an email roughly. That sounds painful.

What’s your favorite letter? Paul to the Corinthians.

When’s the last time you volunteered? Where? This interview. It’s been a life-changing experience, by the way.

What did you have for breakfast? My usual: 6-egg omelette, pound of bacon, six pancakes, toast, gallon of orange juice — wait, that was Jerry Nadler’s breakfast. I had a grapefruit.

If you could have one superpower, which one would it be? The ability to decipher Barack Obama’s speech on race relations. Or, maybe x-ray vision.

Red or white wine? Yes.

Lincoln, Jefferson or Washington Memorial? There’s a memorial to Lincoln? I have to start getting out more. Maybe if I had a car…

Leg or breast (chicken, of course) As long as the chicken was raised in a tiny, uncomfortable box, I don’t care.

Yankees or Red Sox? Yankees because filthy foreigners are always telling them to go home.

Stewart or Colbert? I like the one pretending to be the low-I.Q. blowhard with the stupid political beliefs. I think his name is Jon Stewart.

Wow.  That is just painful.  No originality or imagination whatsoever (“I’ve never received an e-mail roughly”???).  She thinks she’s scintillating, but a reasonably clever 8th-grader could do better.  Being hateful and dishonest is bad enough; must she be unfunny too?

January 12th, 2009 at 09:58pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Republicans,Wankers

You Cannot Stop Teh Gay, You Can Only Hope To Contain It

Man, am I ever sick of this particular line of bullshit:

[Mike Signorile]: Well, here’s what you said, “Homosexuality is a lifestyle. It’s a choice. And that lifestyle can be changed. It’s a transgression against God’s law.” And you compared it to arsonists and kleptomaniacs, that those things were criminal activities…a compulsion, right?

[RNC Chair Candidate Ken Blackwell]: No. What I said is that, in that regard, you can choose, people choose to be who they are, as they choose to break civil law and God’s law…I think you can choose not to be homosexual…

(…)

KB: Well, the fact is, you can choose to restrain that compulsion. And so I think in fact you don’t have to give in to the compulsion to be homosexual. I think that’s been proven in case after case after case…

(…)

KB: ….I believe homosexuality is a compulsion that can be contained, repressed or changed….

The question for me isn’t whether or not gays can suppress their gayness and deny their nature, it’s why on earth they should be required to.  It’s the ultimate in second-class citizenhood – even at the height of Jim Crow, blacks were still allowed to have (heterosexual) sex with each other.  Why should only heterosexuals get to sleep with whatever consenting partner they want?

Imagine if the situation were reversed, and a candidate for RNC chair (I’d like to think that Democrats of the “U.S. of Gay” wouldn’t be the party trying to stop straight people from practicing their sordid heterosexual lifestyle or advancing their sinister straight agenda) was telling Ken Blackwell that he should just use his willpower and self-control to suppress his heterosexual urges and live his life as a gay person.  Suddenly it doesn’t sound quite so reasonable, does it.

Also, just for yuks…

[Mike Signorile]: Well, here’s what you said, “Conservatism is a lifestyle. It’s a choice. And that lifestyle can be changed. It’s a transgression against God’s law.” And you compared it to arsonists and kleptomaniacs, that those things were criminal activities…a compulsion, right?

[Former DNC Chair Howard Dean]: No. What I said is that, in that regard, you can choose, people choose to be who they are, as they choose to break civil law and God’s law…I think you can choose not to be conservative…

(…)

HD: Well, the fact is, you can choose to restrain that compulsion. And so I think in fact you don’t have to give in to the compulsion to be conservative. I think that’s been proven in case after case after case…

(…)

HD: ….I believe conservatism is a compulsion that can be contained, repressed or changed….

Now that’s intolerance we can believe in!

January 12th, 2009 at 07:47pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Republicans,Teh Gay,Wankers

Monday Media Blogging – Eurovision Edition

The entire nation of Switzerland actually chose this song and video to represent their country at the Eurovision song contest:

WTF???

(h/t to the shadowy & mysterious Codename V.)

3 comments January 12th, 2009 at 11:43am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

Could This Be The Most Awesome Phone Ever?

Oh. My.

Furryphone

1 comment January 12th, 2009 at 06:35am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Technology,Weirdness


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