Archive for January 21st, 2009

Pronoun Trouble

Newt Gingrich on the Employee Free Choice Act:

On the January 19 edition of Fox News’ Happening Now, Fox News contributor and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA) claimed that President-elect Barack Obama is “going to be for the labor unions taking away your right to a secret-ballot vote before being forced to join a union.” Gingrich was referring to Obama’s support for the Employee Free Choice Act, and his comments echoed a common distortion employed by opponents of the legislation. As The New York Times reported, “Business groups have attacked the legislation because it would take away employers’ right to insist on holding a secret-ballot election to determine whether workers favored unionization” [emphasis added]. Supporters of the legislation say employers often use the election process to delay, obstruct, and intimidate workers in an effort to resist organizing efforts.

As Media Matters for America has noted, the House Committee on Education and Labor has described the claim that “[t]he Employee Free Choice Act abolishes the National Labor Relations Board’s ‘secret ballot’ election process” as a “myth,” and stated on its website: “The Employee Free Choice Act would make that choice — whether to use the NLRB election process or majority sign-up — a majority choice of the employees, not the employer.”

So, when Newt says Obama will take away “your” right to a secret-ballot vote before having a union forced on you, he means “they.”  The secret ballot is still an option, just not one that employees are likely to choose.  Employees wouldn’t lose anything, but employers would lose their right to dictate terms and control the battlefield.

(Also worth noting: The majority sign-up is still secret from employers, so they can’t retaliate against workers who want to join a union.)

January 21st, 2009 at 08:09pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Labor,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Tone-Deaf Quote Of The Day

Courtesy of the inimitable MoDo, describing the mood in DC:

I grew up here, and it was the first time Ive ever seen the city wholly, happily integrated, with a mood redolent of New York in the weeks after 9/11.

Yep, September ’01 sure was a happy time in NYC…

January 21st, 2009 at 11:44am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Obama,Quotes,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging, Inaugural Edition

Cheney Safe

The Weekly World News scoops the world once again, with an exclusive look at the contents of Dick Cheney’s mysterious “man-sized safe”:

Handymen accidentally cracked open the man-sized safe of exiting Vice President Dick Cheney while transferring his effects.

Statements taken from several of the workers before they were processed and detained by homeland security officials indicate the safe was loaded with more than 100 video cassettes of “chick flicks” and romantic comedies, such as “Steel Magnolias,” “Sleepless In Seattle,” “The Notebook,” “Legally Blonde,” “While You Were Sleeping,” and “Stanley and Iris”.

Additionally, workers came across dozens of audio mix tapes featuring tracks by Air Supply, Josh Groban, and Norah Jones. “I expected to find lots of papers and secret documents about torture, Iraq, Halliburton… stuff like that,” said Ignacio Cordoba of D.C. based moving company Smooth Movers. “Instead, it was just a bunch of Sandra Bullock and Dermot Mulrooney crap fests and mix tapes.”

Witnesses noted the 90-minute chrome cassettes had names such as ‘Dick’s Slow Jamz’ which featured “Here And Now,” by Luther Vandross and ‘Dick’s Heart Attack Of Love,’” which closed with Eric Carmen’s “Hungry Eyes” from the “Dirty Dancing” soundtrack.

Other handlers of the safe noted a manilla envelope that read “Reagan DNA” and a shoe box labeled “Back-Up Heart.” When Cheney noticed what the witnesses had seen, he quickly attempted a diversion by purposely pulling a muscle in his back. He will now be forced to attend President Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony in a wheelchair.

When contacted, a spokesperson for Cheney said that the workers were mistaken and probably meant Dylan McDermot, but then quickly cut himself short and said “no comment.” Cheney’s office then requested the email addresses and social security numbers of the surrounding press pool in order to “contact them later with any updates”.

Hey, he said he was lovable…

The WWN also features a tearful Ed Anger farewell to Cheney’s sidekick:

My heart’s as broken as the Liberty Bell about saying goodbye to President Bush.

Last week, I visited the White House for a farewell lunch with the great man. Lots of other big time patriotic pundits were there, too. Rush ate all the good donuts. Barney humped Hannity’s leg. (I think he liked it). Boortz left his cell phone on, so for a second it was like a bunch of gay boys were singing from inside his pants.


We looked out onto the Rose Garden one last time, before the new guy starts using it to grow marijuana for his unicorn.

We asked the President if he had any regrets, besides not getting to nuke anybody?

Bush said he wished he’d drilled for oil up in Alaska.

“That’ll never happen now,” the President mused. “Not after the new guy beat What’s His Name and That Lady With The Glasses.”

The President even let us in on some top secret stuff, like how that nuclear football isn’t really a football – “Boy, was that a fox paw!” — and that his Secret Service nickname was “Smirky McHitler.”

“Lottsa Dems at Treasury…” Bush explained in a nervous whisper.


Anyway, my fellow Americans, we’ve got one last day not to think about the horrible future let lies ahead. Let’s remember happier times gone by, back before they made a guy with a funny name the President, and let Mormons on the radio.

So very, very sad…

January 21st, 2009 at 07:27am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Cheney,Weekly World News

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